


That one night

by Abc_gloor



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Gay Dean, M/M, One Night Stand, Self-Discovery, bi cas, cas doesn't know he is in love with dean, highschool, sam en Gabe are in love, slow-build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-08-15 09:09:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 38,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8050486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abc_gloor/pseuds/Abc_gloor
Summary: Cas and Dean met at a party and slept together. Only one problem: Cas isn' t gay.   Dean came out in 7th grade and Sam couldn't be more proud.   When Dean begins to date a guy to get over Cas he didn't know how close this guy was to Cas. And Cas struggles when he was beginning to doubt his sexuality.   Background Sabriel: Sam sees Gabriel walk around town and a crush began, even though the 3 years difference.   Okay, hi. I suck at making these discriptions, sorry. I started this story on instagram, the parts are too short for 1 chapter so 5 parts are 1 chapter. Enjoy





	1. Chapter 1

Part 1  
Cas woke up in a place he had never seen before, his was pounding and light came thru the curtains and Cas wished he could die already. He couldn’t remember anything from the night before, he rolled over only to see a guy lying next to him. Cas couldn’t believe it, he wasn’t gay. “I was probably just too drunk to go home so he, whoever he is just gave me a place to crash” he whispered to himself. He checked to see if he was naked, he slowly pulled up the blankets careful not to wake the boy sleeping next to him. He saw that he was naked and just looked at him and the boy with disgust. He wasn’t gay, I mean how could he, he had girlfriends before like Meg and April. He just shook the thought away and wondered how the hell he was getting out of here without waking the sleeping boy. He pulled the blankets off of him slowly because he really didn’t want to wake him up. He stood up and got his clothes of the flour. He put them on and slowly walked out of the room. He still couldn’t remember anything, which really frustrated him. He wasn’t sure if there were more people in the house so he walked down the stairs slowly, hoping nobody would wake up. He came downstairs and looked around as he walked towards the door. He opened the door slowly and walked out of the house, almost forgetting to close it. Cas looked around the streets hoping to recognise it, which he did. He knew where he was, it was only a few minutes away from his house. 

 

Part 2  
He was almost at his house and he didn’t look back, he just wanted to forget the whole thing. He wasn’t gay after all. When he came home he realised how early it actually was, it was only 7 in the morning. He was glad it was saturday so he wouldn’t have to deal with school. Nobody was awake yet, Anna and Gabriel were at a friends house and Samandriel was still asleep. He was still hungover so he took a few aspirins and went back to bed. He woke up again at 12 o’clock, that was more like Castiel’s normal wake up time. His hangover was a better now and he could function normal again. After he showered and ate his breakfast, he wanted to text his best friend Balthazar to hang out. Only after not being able to find his phone anywhere, he knew he left it at the boy’s house. He couldn’t go back because that he would know that it was Cas and he didn’t want to give him the opportunity to ruin his reputation. He needed his phone tho, he thought of plans to get his phone back without knowing it was Cas for an hour. Until his best plan was to go back and just hope for the best. He walked back the road he was just walking on a few hours ago, but this time he was walking towards the house. He stood for the house for a good 20 minutes and when he finally had the courage to walk to the front door, it opened and there he stood: the boy Castiel had slept with, but now with clothes on.

Part 3  
They looked at eachother for what felt like an eternity, until the boy finally spoke. “Hi, i’m Dean” Cas shivered at the sound of his voice, his voice was low and somewhat raw but it was spoken with such kindness. And his eyes. Oh his eyes they were beautiful, Cas could look at them for hours. ‘No Cas you can’t think like that! You are not Gay!’ he thought. He was pulled out of his thought by Dean's voice. “So what are you doing here?” He continued after Cas didn’t reply. “Ohh, right. Hi i’m Castiel” Cas was wondering if he should say that he was the one Dean slept with and that he left his phone here. Before he could even continue Dean spoke again. “So why did you leave so early this morning?” Ohh shit he remembers, Cas thought. “I… uh… I left… my phone here.” He began. “Can I… uh… can I have… it back?” He asked awkward. Dean looked at him with confusion. “Oh, sure. Come in” Cas wasn’t sure if he should buy he did it anyway. “So you never answered my question.” Dean said as they walked up to his room. “Why did you leave so early this morning?” Dean said after he saw that Cas looked at him with confusion. Cas didn’t reply because he just wanted to forget the whole thing. They walked his room in, Cas remembered it from this morning. Dean found his phone and said. “I’ll give it back if you answer my question.” Cas sighed he really didn’t want to tell it. “I’m not gay.” He began. “Last night was a mistake and I just wanted to forget about it, my friends can’t know that I… uh… that I slept with you. It will ruin my reputation. Okay?”

Part 4  
Dean looked hurt, that isn’t what Cas wanted. “That’s the reason I didn ‘t answered your question in the first place.” Cas said “I didn’t want to hurt you. But you have to understand, i’m not gay, so please don’t tell anybody.” Dean nodded, he didn’t want to tell anything because he was scared he might tell something stupid or worse cry. Cas took his phone out of Dean’s hands and walked out of the room. Dean stayed behind, ‘why did this boy affect him so much?’ Dean thought, he had one night stands before but for some reason did this hurt him more than anything else. ‘How was Cas not gay?’ They slept together you don’t do that unless you’re attracted to each other. ‘Just forget about him, i’ll find a boyfriend’ he thought. Dean was openly gay since 7th grade and at first his dad was very disappointed but after getting used to the idea he accepted it. He and his dad don’t the best relationship but it works. His dad was away often for work so he stayed behind with is little brother Sam. They do have a very good relationship, Sam accepted his sexuality right away and he couldn’t be more proud of his big brother. His mom died in a fire when he was 4 and he hoped that she would accept him and be proud of him. He called his best friend Charlie to come over, he knew that he had promised Cas that he wouldn’t tell anyone but he figured he could tell Charlie. He needed her help. Charlie came over right away, Dean almost ran to the door when he heard her knocking. “Charlie, thank god you’re here.” He said with a half smile on his face. 

Part 5  
“Everything for my favourite bitch.” She said with a big smile on her face. As soon she saw the sadness on Dean’s face her happy face changed into a worried look. “Ohh, no what happened?” A tear ran over Dean’s face, he still didn’t know why this boy affected him so much, they just met last night and he was dick this morning. “I’ll tell you in my room” Charlie followed Dean into his room and they both went to sit down on Dean’s bed. “So what is going on?” She asked with concern in her voice. “I had a one night stand.” He began. “It was with Castiel Novak, you know one of the cool kids. We met at that party last night, it was amazing. But when I woke up this morning he was gone. I thought that maybe he needed to do something so I didn’t really care. When he came back, like an hour ago. He said that he forgot his phone, when I asked him why he left this morning he said…” Dean heard his voice breaking. “He said that it was a mistake and people couldn’t know, because he wasn’t gay. I don’t know why I care so much. I had one night stands before and I never care, but I can’t stand this feeling of rejection. Why do I care so much this time?” Dean saw Charlie thinking of an answer. “Maybe you finally want a relationship instead one night stands?” She said. Dean thought of it and said. “I suppose that’s possible. But now I need your help” He had finally calmed down. “Name it. “ She said with a smile on her face. “I’m gonna help you get over Castiel Novak!”


	2. Chapter 2

Part 6  
“Okay calm down. “ Dean said with a small smile “I just need a boyfriend.” Charlie thought of ideas to get Dean a new boyfriend. “I know what!” She almost shouted. “Just go to the cafe and there will be plenty boyfriend candidates!” Dean just laughed at her and nodded. They walked to the impala or as Dean likes to call her, baby. Even though his dad was away on business he always left the car so Dean can ride of himself and Sam somewhere. He turned on the engine and drove to the cafe. When they arrived the didn’t want to get out right away because Dean was rethinking it. “Should I do this? I mean I was always into one night stands. What if I don’t want a relationship after all? What if I get rejected?” He said while his kept spinning. “Dean!” Charlie yelled to get Dean out of his thoughts. “Calm down, you’re not getting married. You’re just asking someone out.” Dean’s mind was still spinning, but after a while he calmed down. They finally got out of the impala and walked towards the cafe. They stopped in front of the door. Charlie sighed and said. “It’s okay, i’ll find you someone sweet. Don’t worry.” Dean nodded her a thank you, and he opened the door. They ordered 2 coffee’s and went to sit down at a table in the back. “So how do I do this?” Dean began, “I normally meet people at parties and then we sleep together and after that I never see them again.” Charlie chuckled slightly at how hopeless Dean was. “Come on Dean this isn’t going to be your first relationship.” She laughed, when she saw Dean staring at the table with shame written all over him, her smile faded. “It is? You never had a boyfriend? Never before you met me?” Charlie met Dean 3 years ago when she moved here. They sat together at math and became friend almost right away. 

Part 7  
“I never was the serious type.” Dean said with shame in his voice. Charlie saw how how ashamed he was and assured him that she’ll help him. “Okay, Where do I start?” Dean said, Charlie laughed slightly. “What?! How do I know if he gay?”he said in his defense. “You see that guy over there?” She pointed at a tall guy, he was a little muscular but not like cas. ‘Shit Dean you’re here to forget about him, don’t think about him!’ He thought. She continued “Well you walk by and i’ll watch. When he checks you out he’s gay. You walk back and i’ll tell you.” Dean laughed slightly “Wait, you can’t be serious?!” He said. When Charlie nodded seriously, he continued. “You can’t just do that! You know what? Just forget it!” He sighed and stood up and he walked towards the door. He opened it and at the same time same time someone tried to walk into the cafe, they bumped into each other and the coffee of Dean spilled all over him. “Oh, i’m so sorry.” He heard a voice saying. When he looked up he saw a boy trying to wipe away the stain. The boy was a little shorter that him and he had light brown hair and was a little muscular, he was probably a year older than him. ‘why did he compare everyone with Cas?’ Dean thought “Don’t worry” Dean said when he tried to walk away. “Can I at least buy you a new coffee?” the boy said. Dean turned around and said. “Sure, but don’t spill all over me again, okay? 

 

Part 8   
The boys laughed, they walked back into the cafe and Dean saw Charlie still sitting there. “Excuse me, i’ll be right back.” Dean said to the mystery boy. He walked over to Charlie. “What are you doing? Go back.” Charlie said, Dean laughed and said. “I just wanted to apologize, I know what a dick I was. Thank you for your help.” Charlie laughed and nodded, “Just go back now.” She laughed. Dean nodded and walked back to boy. “Girlfriend drama?” The boy said with a sadness in his voice. Dean was surprised by the word girlfriend he shook his head. Oh no Charlie isn’t my girlfriend.” He laughed. “She’s my best friend nothing more.” The boy nodded while he was thinking. “Do you want it to be more?” He said after thinking. Dean laughed, probably more than was necessary “Oh, no” He still laughed. “Charlie is gay.” He was wondering if he should say the next thing. He still wasn’t sure but he said it anyway. “And so am I” He finally said, now with a more serious face. The boy smiled and said. “So what do you want to drink?” Dean smiled to himself because he was happy that the boy still wanted to hang out after he said he was gay. “Oh, yeah, black please.” He said after he was aware that the boy had asked him that question. The boy just laughed. “So what is your name?” Dean said when they walked out of the cafe. “Gabriel, you?” Dean. They walked towards a park. They sat down at bench and they just talked. Dean enjoyed himself and he really liked this Gabriel. It kept his mind of of Cas and he knew that it was wrong to use people like that but just couldn’t help himself. ‘And maybe this Gabriel was the one’, Dean thought. ‘You never know. ‘

Part 9   
Cas was home again and he couldn’t believe what a dick he was towards Dean. He didn’t Dean he just wasn’t gay. -Or so he thought.- He knew he had no chance at being friends with Dean, but he still wanted to try to be friends. He didn’t have Dean’s number so he just had to wait ‘till monday. He didn’t know what to do because he didn’t want to hang out with his best friend anymore, because he couldn’t focus on that anyway. He just decided to do his homework already so he had something to keep his mind occupied. He had all his homework done and it was only 3 hours later. He sighed at the thought of it still being saturday. For once he couldn’t wait for monday so he could apologize to Dean. He wanted to forget the whole sleeping together thing as soon as possible but he couldn’t help but feel bad for Dean. He had nothing against Gay people, he just wasn’t one of them.-*cough* sure *cough*- He was taken away from his thought when he heard the bell ring. He walked down the stairs towards the door. He opened the door and to his not so surprise it was Balthazar. He and Balthazar had been friends for a long as they could remember and Balthazar was like a brother to Cas. He also lived at the Novak’s house more than in his own. Balthazar smiled and said “Hey Cas!” Cas knew that look and he knew that Balthazar had a plan that would probably bring Cas into trouble but he would do it just because that way he didn’t have to think about Dean. He sighed and he knew that he was going to regret this. “Okay Balthazar, What is your plan?” 

Part 10   
Balthazar laughed, “You know be too well,” he said, then he continued. “You know that movie with the boat? You know that one where it sinks?” Cas looked at him in confusion, ‘till he realised what Balthazar was talking about. “You mean the Titanic?” Balthazar nodded. “So you know I hate that movie so let’s buy every one in this crappy town and let’s burn them all.” Cass laughed in disbelief and stopped as soon as he realised that he was serious. Oh, good you’re in? Let’s go then.” Balthazar said happy that he could convince his friend to join. “What!” Cas yelled when Balthazar walked away. “You can’t just buy them all! Where do we get the money? And where would you burn them?” Balthazar laughed. “You still have to learn, 1. I have money and 2. Somewhere in a field.” Castiel nodded slightly, he needed the distraction so why the hell not? They walked towards the store because neither of them had a car. When they saw all the Titanic movies Cas began to question Balthazar. “Balthazar?” Cas asked, “are you sure you want to spend all your money on this?” Balthazar nodded and just grabbed all the 26 boxes. They were 7 dollars each so it was a lot of money. Cas was just happy that he didn’t need to spend his money on this and he still couldn’t believe Balthazar was. But he was his friend so if he was going down Cas was going down with him.


	3. Chapter 3

Part 11  
Dean was still talking to Gabriel, it was 3 hours later and they were saying their goodbyes. “So, i’ll talk to you later?” Dean said, Gabriel nodded and fished a paper and a pen out of his pocket. He wrote some numbers on it. “This is my number, call me if you want.” He said when he handed it to Dean. Dean just nodded and stepped into the car. ‘What the hell is he supposed to do with that’ he thought. Dean drove back to his house, when he arrived he walked into the house and went to the kitchen to make dinner for Sam and himself. He decided to make pasta. Sam got home and went straight to his room. Dean was almost done when he yelled. “Sam! Dinner's almost ready! Set the table!” Sam came running down the stairs into the kitchen and he took 2 plates, celery and cups of water and set the table. He sat down at one of the chairs and waited for Dean to arrive with dinner. Dean arrived with pasta not long after Sam sat down. “So did you do something today?” Dean said when he sat down. He put some pasta on Sam’s plate and some on his own when Sam responded. “There is this girl who keeps texting me, and I don’t like it.” He said with a frown on his face. Dean chuckled and said. “Why don’t you give her a chance? And what is her name?” Sam sighed, “Becky, and i’m not giving her a chance because she isn’t what I want” Sam was only 2 years younger than him so Dean understood what he was going thru. “Then what kind of girl do you want?” Dean said. Sam sighed in frustration. “I don’t know, none I think”

Part 12  
Dean almost choked on his water. “Are you okay?” Sam asked “And are you okay with that?” Dean was shocked that Sam thought that he wasn’t okay with him being gay. “I’m okay, and i’m okay with that, of course i’m okay with that. You’re still my brother, nothing changed. I still love you.” He reassured. Sam smiled, “Thank you Dean, I love you too. “ they ate the rest of dinner with just cheesy topics and silence. When they were done Dean asked the question he wanted to ask since Sam came out. “So how did you know you like guys?” Sam sighed he knew Dean wanted ask that question, he just hoped that he would wait a little longer. “Well sometimes I see this guy around the town and he always caught my eye, so I began thinking, I never really liked girls and now I do like a guy. So I guess that how I knew. How did you know?” Dean never told Sam how he knew, and he hoped he never would. “When I was in 7th grade I sat next to this guy his name was Benny and we became friends, one day he asked if I wanted to be more than friends. First I didn’t understand so I just ran away. I broke his heart. When I came home I started thinking, I had girlfriend before but I never really liked them you know. And I never felt...” Dean sighed, he really didn’t want to tell this story. “I never felt like this with girls, so I wanted to tell him that, but when I came to school the next day he was gone. I asked the teacher what was going on and she said he moved away. I still didn’t understand what was happening so I called him. He said that he just wanted to kiss me before he moved away. I told him I felt the same and we said our goodbyes. I never got to say thank him for helping me discover who I really am.” Sam looked at his brother and gave him a hug, because he knew Dean needed it. 

Part 13   
Cas and Balthazar came out of the store with 3 bags full of movies. “So do you want to tell me what’s going on with you?” Balthazar asked when they walked towards the bus stop, the bus would take them out of town so they could burn them. Cas just looked at him in confusion, ‘he didn’t know what had happened last night after the party right?’ he thought. Balthazar saw his confusion so he explained himself. “Well, at the party last night you kinda just disappeared on me, you didn’t even say goodbye. And now you’re acting really weird. And normally you wouldn’t do this, you’re too good for that.” Cas sighed, he was a fool for believing he could lie to Balthazar, he probably knew him better than Cas himself. Still he couldn’t tell what had happened last night so he decided to lie. “I don’t remember last night so I can’t answer the question on why I let you alone, but now I just needed a little fun because I have a big chemistry test coming up so I won’t have fun for a while. -boy if he only knew- You’re glad I came right?” Baltazar knew he lied but he just figured he didn’t want to talk about so the good friend he was he didn’t ask more questions. “Yeah, of course.” He just said after studying Cas for a while, ‘what could he be hiding that is so big that he didn’t even tell his best friend.’ Balthazar thought. They stood in silence until the bus came. “Come Cas, let’s go.” Balthazar said with a smirk. “Let’s burn these movies!”

Part 14   
About 20 minutes later they arrived at the bus stop, they paid for the trip and they walked out of the bus, the town wasn’t that big so they were out of town fast. They were next to the road by a bus stop next to a field. Nobody knew why there was a bus stop here, but there was and it came in handy right now for Balthazar and Cas. “So where do we burn them? and how?” Cas asked unsure on what to do. Balthazar looked in his pockets for a lighter but he didn’t find it. “Shit” Cas looked at him pissed. “What did you forget?” Cas said with annoyance in his voice. Balthazar looked at him with a guilty look. “A lighter” he murmured. Cas looked at him more annoyed now. “What’s that?” Balthazar looked more guilty now. “A lighter.” He said. “I forgot a lighter.” Cas was mad, you could see it in his eyes. “Are you kidding me?!” He shouted “You forgot the lighter?! How can you forget that? What are we going to do now? We are in the middle of nowhere and the next bus back into town comes in 30 minutes!” Balthazar laughed at how worked up Cas was “Calm down, just call Gabriel, he has a car right? Just ask him if can bring a lighter and after that he can help if he want” Cas sighed “I’m not calling Gabe to ask if he wants to bring a lighter.” Balthazar looked at him with puppy eyes because he knew his best friend couldn’t resist that. “Okay, okay, i’ll call him.”

Part 15   
After dinner was done Sam cleaned the plates and celery because Dean already cooked. Dean went to his room, he didn’t know what to do so decided to listen to some music while lying down on his bed. He just thought about his day, how weird it started and how weird it ended. He really likes Gabe but somehow everything he did, Dean compared it to Cas. But he just had to make it work, he had to get over Cas. Maybe it will go away he thought. Cas wasn’t gay and he won’t ever be. He had someone now, maybe someone who Dean saw a future with eventually. And then there was Sam, who was the stranger that made Sam question everything. It wasn’t easy coming out, Dean lived thru it. But he knew that Sam had the hardest part over with, accepting yourself is hard, again Dean knew that. And sure there will be bullies who will hate Sam for who he is, but the real pain is when you stop believing in yourself. Dean experienced it about 3 years ago when he was in 9th grade, he was didn’t believe in himself and other people anymore. Luckily there was Charlie, and Charlie didn’t only save his life but it made it better. Now Dean was proud to say: He was happy with himself. But there was only one thing on his mind that really bothered him: Cas. What was his deal with Cas ? He had Gabe now and he seemed great. But somehow every thought he had, they led back to one thing: Cas


	4. Chapter 4

Part 16  
Cas called Gabe and he came almost immediately. “Hey Cassie, Balthazar.” Gabe said with a smirk as he came out of the car. “Hey Gabe” Cas and Balthazar said together almost like it was planned. “So why the lighter?” Gabe asked, he knew that Balthazar had crazy plans and because he was a little crazy himself he wouldn’t turn down the chance to help. Balthazar laughed slightly, like he was up to something. “Well,” he began, his excitement came back to him instantly. “I hate the movie Titanic so I bought them all and we wanted” Cas looked at him with a deadly look and Balthazar laughed slightly again. “Well I wanted to burn them all in a field, but I forgot the lighter so I manipulated Cas into calling you and asking to bring a lighter. Are you mad?” Balthazar didn’t have any brothers or sisters, and not only was Cas his best friend and kind like brother but Gabriel was like his big brother as well. And even though he looked like he didn’t care, the last thing he wanted to do was disappoint people. “Don’t worry about it,” Gabe assured with a look you couldn’t fake, you just knew he meant it. “I like to help. And I don’t have anything other to do since I graduated and have no idea what i’m going to do with my life.” They all laughed. “So are we going to do this or what?” Cas said, even Cas was getting excited. He didn’t expect it but he was glad Balthazar came up with this idea, maybe he should try more new things. 

Part 17   
Balthazar and Gabriel laughed, they never saw excited about anything, let alone setting movies on fire. “Easy tiger,” Balthazar began. “We still have to find a spot.” Cas chuckled slightly and looked away in shame. They walked further into the field, suddenly Balthazar stopped. He looked around and nodded. “Here is the spot.” He laughed. “We’re gonna burn the Titanic here!” They all laughed. Balthazar got all the movie boxes out of the bag and laid them in a circle. “Shouldn’t we have brought gasoline?” Cas asked being the save and pessimistic one again. “Relax, we don’t need gasoline, it just takes longer to burn this way. We do need dry wood, look around.” Balthazar said. Cas just looked at him in confusion and then opened his mouth again. “You do know we’re in a field right?” Balthazar looked at him like he didn’t hear it, he did hear it but he was just too stubborn to admit he was wrong. “I’m gonna get the fire started.” He said after thinking of a way to avoid the previous question. Cas just chuckled, he knew Balthazar and he knew he heard him, he also know he was too stubborn. Gabe was just standing, looking at what they were doing. He was getting bored. “Guys, what do I have to do? I’m bored.” Cas laughed. “I thought you were supposed to be older than me?” Cas said, teasing his older brother. “I’m only one year older! And I just have a young soul, I think it’s unique” Gabe said confident. ‘God he loves himself’, Cas thought. “Okay, don’t fall in love with yourself now. You can help me look for dry wood in this field. Cas said the last part a little teasing towards Balthazar. He just shrug and continued trying to make fire. Cas and Gabe walked out into the field together. They teased each other like all brothers do. Cas said, “Are you and yourself engaged already?” Gabe just chuckled and answered. “Just for your information, I met somebody today. I really like him.”

Part 18   
Dean had enough of his thoughts, he didn’t want to think about Cas. He met someone who he really liked and Cas was an ass this morning. He thought of going out and maybe meet someone, he normally didn’t sleep with someone and the next day with someone else but he wanted to get over Cas. He almost got out of bed to get his things and go out but then he remembered Gabe, they weren’t together or something like that but he didn’t want to screw it up before it even started. Maybe Gabe was the way to get over Cas. He just decided to take a shower. He warmed the water and after about a minute he took his clothes off and stood under the shower, he first shampooed his hair and then his body. After that he got out of the shower and got a towel. He dried his hair first and then the rest. He wrapped it around his waist and went to his bedroom. There were 2 bathrooms in the house and if his dad was here, he and Sam shared one. If his dad was out of town they Dean took the other bathroom. The bathroom was next to his room. He took his pajama pants out of the drawer and put it on. He took his time showering and it was now almost 8. He still wasn’t tired but he couldn’t stand the thoughts of Cas anymore. He decided to go to bed and try to sleep. When he got to bed, he tried to shake the thought of Cas out of his thoughts. “Why do I need to think about him? He isn’t gay. And he is an ass.” He murmured to himself in frustration. He eventually fell asleep with one thought: Cas. He woke up a few hours later because he heard knocking on the door, he looked at his alarm, it was 11 P.M. “Who could be visiting at this hour?” He said to himself while half asleep. 

Part 19   
Cas looked up in surprise, he was happy for his brother. He knew his brother was gay and when Gabe came out he didn’t think different about him. He came out 4 years ago, for some reason he didn’t get bullied even Alistair stayed friends with him. Somehow he began thinking about Dean, he didn’t really knew Dean but he knew Alistair bullied him. Dean wasn’t a nerd or something like that, he just wasn’t populair. The rest of the school didn’t bully Dean because somehow he didn’t care about what anybody thought and if someone tried to bully him he would fight back and after that they would be best friends. Gabe was just like that. “Hi” Gabe shook Cas out of his thoughts. Cas looked at him with his tilted a little to the left in confusion. “Are you going to respond or are you going to stand there for the rest of your life?” Gabe continued. Cas realised again what Gabe had told him and he didn’t know why he kept thinking about Dean. He was here to forget about him. Before he got lost in his thoughts again he said. “Uhm... I’m sorry. I just got lost in my thoughts. I’m really happy for you Gabe. I would like to meet him when you 2 are together for real.” Gabe laughed slightly. “Okay, thank you Cas. I just met him yesterday so don’t expect anything too soon,” Cas and Gabe laughed and they had enough wood so they were heading back to Balthazar, who was still trying to get the fire started. He sighed in frustration. “I don’t think this will work, we should have brought gasoline. Sorry Cas and Gabe for dragging you guys along.” He began walking away and Gabe walked behind him. Cas was angry, he was beginning to enjoy this and now it didn’t work?! “Guys!” His mouth began speaking before he even knew what he wanted to say. “I’m not giving up!” Again his mouth spoke before realising it. He saw a stick lying on the ground and he began hitting the pile of movies. Balthazar and Gabe turned and laughed, they relieved Cas finally lost control, it was bound to happen sooner or later. 

Part 20  
Gabe and Balthazar just stood and watched Cas destroy the movie boxes with the stick. After about 20 minutes he stopped, the boxes were in pieces and spread over a part of the field. “I’m sorry,” he began “I just lost it a bit.” He was looking at his shoes and smiled shy. He wasn’t the popular guy anymore, right now he was shy and vulnerable. Gabe saw that he was sad and couldn’t help but feel bad for him. “Hey, “ he hoped Cas would look at him, he did. “It’s okay, we all lose it sometimes.” Cas felt relieved, this is why he loved his big brother. To break the awkward silence Gabe said, “come on, let’s get something to eat.” He now looked at Balthazar, he just stood and watched the brothers. “Do you want to come too?” Gabe said to him. Balthazar shook his head and explained. “No I can’t. I have to be home on time. My mom is scared i’ll do something stupid again.” Gabe laughed, “You mean like getting arrested because you stole your mom’s car and drove to mcdonald’s to get a cheeseburger?” Balthazar laughed, “I have learned my lesson and I did that at home, but anyway she wants me home at 9 and it’s 8:40 now. Can you bring me home.” Cas didn’t know time had gone so fast. He was glad though, that meant monday came sooner. Gabe nodded and said. “Sure, let’s go.” They all walked to the car, Gabe had put it on the side of the road. Cas rode shotgun. They drove to Balthazar's house, they was quiet and the only thing you could hear was the radio. They said their goodbyes and Balthazar got out. His was about 5 houses from Cas and Gabe’s house. They didn’t go home because they didn’t have dinner yet, they knew it was late but they were hungry. Gabe parked his car in the parking lot of the 23 hours open dinner. The food wasn’t holy but they had Cas’s favourite: Burgers.


	5. Chapter 5

Part 21   
The diner wasn’t very big, it had about 10 tables and the diner was painted red and yellow. You could also sit at a bar. All the tables were set around the bar. Cas and Gabe walked to a table right in front of the bar, they sat down and waited for the waiter. The menu’s were already on the table so they thought of what they were going to order while they waited. The waiter came about 3 minutes later. “Hey, i’m Jo. I’m going to be your waiter tonight. Can I take your orders?” Jo was about 17 and she had long dirty blond hair. Cas knew she was going to the same school as him. He didn’t have any classes with her but he knew Dean had and her hair had almost the same color as Dean. ‘Hold up why am I thinking of Dean I don’t care about him!’ He thought. Cas’s thoughts returned to Jo. Cas already knew what he was going to order but Gabe was still thinking. “I’ll take the burger menu and a coke please.” Jo was writing Cas’s orders in a little note book. “And what can I get you?” She was now looking at Gabe. Gabe was still thinking, when he finally decided on what to get he said. “I’ll take the burrito menu and a soda, thank you.” Jo wrote Gabe’s orders and when she was done she said. “Okay. i’ll be bringing your orders shortly.” She went in the back and after a few minutes she came back with their drinks. “Here’s your coke,” She gave Cas his coke. “And here is your soda.” She gave Gabe his soda. “The rest is almost done.” She went in the back again. Gabe and Cas hadn’t said said anything to each other since they dropped of Balthazar, he didn’t know why because they weren’t mad at each other. The silence was killing Cas because every time there was silence all his thoughts went to Dean and he didn’t know why. “Okay why aren’t you saying anything? You’re Gabe you always have something to say!” He blurted out, regretting saying it immediately. 

Part 22  
Gabe looked at him confused. “I just thought you didn’t want to talk.” Now Cas was the one confused. “Why wouldn’t want to talk?” Before he could answer Jo came back with the orders. “Here is your burger menu.” She gave Cas a plate with a burger, french fries and a salad. He nodded a thank you. “And for you the burrito menu.” She gave Gabe a plate with the same things as Cas but instead of a burger there was a burrito. “If you need anything just raise your hand and i’ll come.” Jo said with a smile on her face. “Thank you.” Cas and Gabe said on the same time. Jo nodded and walked away to the back. Gabe Began eating his burrito and Cas just took a sip from his coke. “So why wouldn’t I want to talk?” He moaned at the taste of his burrito. He swallowed while Cas was waiting impatiently. He knew Cas hated talking with your mouth full but it was really hard when he asked you a question when you just took a bite and looked at you with big eyes. He finally swallowed and said. “I don’t know, you just seemed a little weird since this morning. Did something happen at that party yesterday?” He looked at him with worried eyes, could he know what happened? No he wouldn’t ask me if he already knew. He had a whole discussion in his head, until Gabe pulled him out of his thoughts. “Cas, you okay?” He nodded, he was thinking of an answer that Gabe would believe. “Yeah i’m just still a little hungover, I got more drunk than I expected. And i’m still a little worked up from when I lost it.” Gabe looked at him in disbelief. “Cas, I know you and I know that that isn’t it.” He was waiting for Cas to answer but he never did. “Please tell me what’s going on.” Cas sighed, he didn’t want- no he couldn’t tell him what happened. He knew Gabe would be okay with it if he was gay but he wasn’t. If he told him he slept with Dean, he would never hear the end of it. He decided not to lie but just bend the truth a little. “I slept with someone,” He sighed. “Someone I shouldn’t have slept with.”

Part 23   
Gabe was silent, he didn’t know what to say. “Who was it?” he blurted out without noticing his mouth was talking. “I can’t tell you” Cas told while he was looking his hands. Gabriel nodded, “Okay, I get it. But why did you sleep with her? And why shouldn’t you have?” Castiel’s eyes widened at the word she, it wasn’t she, he thought. “I was just drunk and I shouldn’t have slept with her because…” He thought of a believable answer. “Uhmm… She was a…” again he was thinking. “She was a virgin. I shouldn’t have taken her virginity.” He knew that that couldn’t have been the whole story so he decided to say the rest truthfully. Or you know as truthful as he could be without telling he slept with a guy. Gabe was still listening, worry was written all over his face. “I snuck out of her house this morning because I didn’t want to face her but when I came home I realised I forgot my phone at her house. I had to get so I walked back to her house and just when I wanted to knock on the door she opened. I told her I forgot my phone. She let me in the house and we went to her room. Nobody else was home so that was nice.” Gabe took another bite of his burrito and Cas wanted to take a bite of his burger but he had lost all his appetite. He continued. “We found my phone and I wanted to get out of the house before he… I mean she” He laughed nervous, Gabe looked at him wide eyed with suspicion. “Before ‘SHE’ asked me why I left this morning. She had my phone and she said that she would give it to me if I told her why I left this morning. I was irritated and hungover -And in the closet- so I told her I didn’t want her and that last night was just one big mistake. I took my phone and I walked out of the door.” Gabe looked at him, you could see he was interested in what happened. He knew that there was something else and that Cas didn’t tell the whole truth, but he didn’t know what really happened so he just assumed Cas didn’t want to talk about it. Cas sighed. “I don’t know why I was such an ass. I’m not like that normally. And now I just want to make it up to her and maybe be friends. But I don’t have her number so I have to wake ‘till monday.” He had little smile. “And you know me, I don’t have any patience.”

Part 24   
Gabe nodded and you could see that he was looking for a way to answer. “I know you okay?” Cas looked at him with confusion. ‘What had this to do with what I just told him’ he thought. He nodded. “I know that you didn’t tell me something. What didn’t you tell me Cas?” He just looked more confused. Gabe couldn’t know right. I mean how could he know? “Wh- What… Uhm… What do you mean?” Gabe chuckled “You know what I mean.” He winked. Cas didn’t answer all he said was. “Can you please just forget I said anything?” He was looking at his hands now. “No, but I can forget the fact that you didn’t tell me the whole story.” Cas nodded gratefully. “And I know you don’t take girl advice from someone who’s gay but i’m gonna try to help you anyway. You say you went back to her house right?” Cas nodded and Gabe continued talking. “Why don’t go back? I mean if you can’t wait ‘till monday, why don’t go back tomorrow?” ‘That actually really smart. Why didn’t I think of that?’ Cas was pulled out of his thoughts again. “Cas? Are you still listening?” He nodded. “Yeah, I mean I was just thinking. Can we talk about something else now?” Gabe looked confused but nodded. For the rest of dinner they talked about other stuff, such as movies, books and candy. It was 10 p.m. when they both paid and walked to the car, Gabe started engine and soon they were home. Cas got out of the car and thought before walking away from the house. “Hey! Where are you going!” Gabe shouted after him. Cas shouted back. “Taking your advice!” 

Part 25  
Before Gabriel could answer he was gone. First he almost ran to the house but then the nerves started. He began walking slower and slower, until he almost stood still. His mind started spinning: What am I doing? He doesn’t want to see me. Why am I doing this? Is it too late to go back home? Yes I can’t go back Gabe knows i’m going to Dean well not Dean but he knows i’m going to the person I slept with. What do I say? What is he going to say? Will we be friends? Can we forget about yesterday? Is he nice? It’s way too late to go to Dean’s right? No it isn’t who is already asleep 10:30 P.M. in the weekend. He stood still for about an half hour, just thinking about all the possibilities and why he was doing this. He still wasn’t close to an answer but he couldn’t stay out all night. He began walking again, walking slow but after 20 minutes he finally reached the house. All the lights were out. Maybe he was asleep. Well no going back now. He walked up the steps to the front door, this was the third time today. He knocked softly on the door, no answer. He then knocked harder. Again no answer. He knocked really hard now, it surprised Cas that he didn’t knock a hole in the door. Yeah, slow down! I’m coming down!” He heard a voice call from inside the house. Somehow between really excited and scared shitless he was beginning to start getting impatient. When the door finally opened Dean stood there shirtless, in only pajama pants. Cas couldn’t keep his eyes of his sixpack. Why am I thinking of his sixpack? “Cas?” A rusty deep voice called. The voice send a shiver down his spine. Cas finally met his eyes, they were perfect green and in this light they seemed to glow. Why do his eyes and his voice matter? Keep your head straight. When he looked down in embarrassment he saw that Dean had pajama pants on. Ohh shit did I wake him?


	6. Chapter 6

Part 26   
Dean got out of bed and began walking towards his closet to grab a shirt. Before he could get one the person outside knocked again, this time harder. He ran towards the door and he saw that Cas stood otise. What the hell was he doing here? Dean thought. He saw that Cas eyes lowered to his bare chest then he remembered that he forgot to put on a shirt. He saw that Cas’s eyes were still on his chest. ‘Is he checking me out?’ He asked himself then he remembered. ‘No you idiot, he’s not gay.’ He got out of his thoughts. “Cas?” He looked at Dean and then at his feet. “Uhm… What are you doing here?” Dean said still confused at the fact that Cas stood outside of his house at 11 P.M.. “Can I come in? I’m freezing.” Dean nodded and hold the door wide open and stepped out of the way. When he walked inside he brushed against Dean and he hated to admit it but it something to him. It gave him a feeling, a good feeling. He quickly pushed out the thought and walked further into the house. He had been here before but he never really paid attention. “So what are you doing here? Aren’t you afraid people might see us?” Dean voice was cold and harsh, not that Cas didn’t deserve it but it still hurt. They both sat down on the couch. “I wanted to apologise.” Cas began. Dean was listening, he made a nod to tell Cas to continue. “I was a dick. I know that, and would totally understand if you didn’t want to be friends, but I would like to be friends. I just wanted to forget what happened last night. Can you try to be friends with me?” 

Part 27   
‘Uhmm no! You were a dick!’ Dean thought, but his mouth said something else. “Sure, I mean I can try.” Cas’s eyes lit up. ‘Why were they lighting up, why did he care so much. Does he like me? Stop saying that brain! He’s not gay!’ “Thank you, I mean. You know, i’m normally not a dick.” Cas said smiling from ear to ear. Man he was really happy. “I just freaked out, I mean not that people freak out when they see you. I mean you are a very attractive man. I mean for the people who fall for that. I mean-” He said almost too fast to hear. Dean chuckled slightly. “I know what you mean, you mean you’re not gay.” Cas smiled and nodded. “Are you hungry? Because i’m starving.” Dean said to lighten the conversations because this beginning to be a chick flick moment. He stood up and waited by kitchen door to see if Cas was walking behind him. He was so Dean walked the kitchen in and made a sandwich. “No thank you, I just ate.” Cas said. Dean didn’t look up and he just continued to make his sandwich. When he was done they both walked to the kitchen table and sat down on opposite sides. An awkward silence fell and neither of the boys knew what to say. “So why did you do it?” Dean said after finishing his sandwich. “What” Cas looked at him confused. “Why did you sleep with me if you’re not gay?” Dean knew Cas would get mad but he had to know. He had to know why Cas would sleep with him even though he wasn’t gay, no matter how drunk he was. This question was bothering him the whole day, he couldn’t think of anything else. 

 

Part 28   
Cas looked guilty, he knew that Dean would ask this question but that didn’t mean he had an answer. “I was drunk.” He answered, he saw that Dean wasn’t satisfied with this answer. “I don’t remember anything. I’m sorry but I don’t know why I did it. “ Dean sighed, that wasn’t what he hoped the answer would be and Cas knew it. “Okay,” Dean began. “We can forget and try to be friends but I do have to say something.” Cas nodded “Okay?” Dean looked around kitchen, he was looking for an excuse not to say something but he knew he had to. “I told Charlie.” He said. Cas looked furious. He wanted to tell something but Dean cut him off before he could say anything. “I know you’re mad and I get it. I promised not to tell anybody, but Charlie isn’t anybody. She’s my best friend and I know she won’t tell anybody. I wouldn’t have told her if I thought she would tell somebody. You have to trust me Cas. and I trust her. Our… I mean your secret it safe.” Cas sighed, it’s not that he didn’t trust Charlie or Dean. He just didn’t want people to think he’s gay. “Okay, it’s okay” He said. Dean’s eyes lit up. “But can we stop talking about that night now?” Dean nodded and walked out of the kitchen. He walked to the stairs and then stood still, Cas probably didn’t want to go to his room. He turned on his heels and walked towards the couch. They both sat down. “I’m not afraid of your room you know?” Cas said. Dean looked up and he knew what Cas was talking about. “I hoped you hadn't noticed that. I mean, I just thought you didn’t want to go to my room because of yesterday.” Cas laughed. “Yesterday didn’t happen right?” Dean nodded, but he didn’t want to forget yesterday because that was one hell of a night. But he had to if he wanted this friendship to work and he didn’t know why but he wanted that.

Part 29   
They stopped talking about that night and just talked about their interests like Dean’s car and Cas’s weird obsession of bee’s. They talked for hours before falling asleep sitting on the couch. Dean woke up from the sound in the kitchen, when he woke up he was almost on top of Cas. Somehow Cas laid down and Dean laid beside him with his head on Cas’s chest and his leg over Cas’s. When he got up he noticed he was still shirtless. Cas was still asleep. He didn’t wake him because he hadn’t slept long. He looked at the clock and he saw it was 11:30 A.M. that was the normal time to wake up but normally he was asleep earlier, now he was still tired. He went to the kitchen to see who woke him. Sam stood at the stove, he making breakfast. “Hi Sam” Dean said and yawning still tired of last night. Sam smirked. “Hi sleepy head, Long night?” Dean was suddenly wide awake. “What? Cas? No! Cas and I aren’t together. He’s not gay.” He said the last part a little sad but he hoped Sam wouldn’t notice. “Then why are you shirtless.” The smirk was still on his face. “Sam! We aren’t together!” Dean shouted defensive. He just hoped Cas didn’t wake up. Sam out both his hands up in a defensive way and turned on his heels to continue making breakfast. Dean walked out of the kitchen and into the livingroom where Cas was still sleeping. ‘He looks so perfect and peaceful when he’s sleeping. No don’t think that! He’s just a friend.’ While he was still arguing with his brain he walked up the stairs to take a shower and put on some clothes. When he came down again Cas was still sleeping. It was 12:30 P.M. now. Man he sleeps long, he thought. He walked towards Cas and knelt before him and woke him up. “Go away, i’m sleeping.” He said, his voice was grumpy and his eyes were still closed. He gave Dean a little push with his hands. Dean lost his stability for a second and had to take Cas’s hands to stabilize himself and not fall over. Cas felt that and suddenly he was wide awake. 

Part 30   
Cas stared down at Dean’s hands on his. Dean quickly stood up and said. “I’m sorry, I just wanted to wake you up,” Cas sat up and looked at his watch. He motioned Dean to sit down next to him and he did. He smiled a little and Dean couldn’t help but smile back. “It’s okay Dean, we’re friends right?” Dean nodded and watched as Cas stood up and walked towards the front door. He stood up too and walked behind Cas, when he stopped so did Dean. “I really gotta go, my brothers and sister are probably wondering where I am.” Dean nodded and walked him out the door. “You sure you don’t want breakfast?” Dean asked, Cas shook his head. “Thank you Dean, for forgiving me I mean. I’m glad we’re friends now.” Cas said, he turned around and walked of the front yard before Dean could say anything. Dean did manage to yell a fast goodbye before Cas was out of hearing range. Cas just waved at him. ‘Damn he was one strange guy, BUT I like him, he seems like a good friend. You don’t want to be more than friends? No I don’t I have Gabe and he seem nice.’ Dean had a whole discussion with himself and suddenly he was on his bed. He didn’t even notice getting back into the house again. Dean decided to text Gabe because he still had to get over Cas. From Dean: Hey Gabe it’s Dean. You gave me your number yesterday.   
From Gabe: Hey Dean, what’s up?  
From Dean: I was just wondering if you wanted to do something today.  
From Gabe: Are you asking me out?  
From Dean: Yes?  
From Gabe: Okay, i’ll pick you up at six and we’ll grab something to eat. What’s your address?  
From Dean: 113 Baker street (a/n don’t know where this is or if this is real)  
From Gabe: Okay i’ll see you later ; )   
Dean put his phone down. ‘Omg, I have a date. This is my first official date. You do like him right? Yeah, I mean he seems nice.’


	7. Chapter 7

Part 31   
Castiel walked out of Dean’s front yard and to his house. This time not full of shame, this time he was happy. He had made a new friend, ‘a really hot friend’ “No! Don’t think that! You’re not gay Cas!” He whispered/yelled at himself. He arrived at his house and stopped by the front door. He knew that the moment he walked through that door he had to answer all kinds of questions he didn’t have answers for. But he knew he couldn’t wait forever so he just walked into the door. He wanted to avoid everyone so instead of eating something he went straight upstairs to his room. He was glad when he reached his bed without seeing anyone. He laid down on his bed when he heard knocking. “Come in!” He yelled. Gabe came in and sat on the bed next to Cas. “Heya Cas, how was your night?” He said with a wink. Cas sighed and sat up with his back to the headboard. “We didn’t do anything Gabe. We’re just friends.” Gabe laughed. “Whatever you say. I’m just saying that this is the first time you worked so hard on being friends with someone after a one night stand. Normally you just ignore them. Maybe you want something more.” Cas felt anger and he didn’t know why he was so angry. “I don’t want anything more! I just want to be friends!” He didn’t know why he yelled but he just needed Gabe to believe him. Gabe stood up with his hands up in defense. “Calm down. I get it, you don’t want anything else. Just friends.” Cas nodded “I’m sorry Gabe. I don’t know why I yelled. I think i’m just tired.” Gabe sat down again, Cas was glad he forgave him. “So do you have any more plans today?” Gabe asked. Cas shook his head. “Nah, i’m just gonna watch some movies. You?” Gabe smiled. “Yes, I have a date.”

 

Part 32   
Cas’s eyes widened. “Really? I’m happy for you Gabe. You deserve it.” Cas said while he gave Gabe a little hug. “Thank you Cas. I’m gonna watch a movie before I have to pick him up. Bye Cassie.” Cas waved at him and watched as Gabe left the room. He was happy for Gabe, he really was. He just hoped that he was that happy. Instead he is just confused. He decided to watch a movie so he stood up and grabbed his laptop and sat back down on his bed. He logged into netflix and looked at all his choices. He decided to watch the amazing spider-man (A/N I don’t know if that is on american Netflix but I just know it’s on dutch Netflix.) He pressed the play button and the movie started. He was 10 minutes into the movie when someone knocked on the door. He sighed and pressed pause. “Come in!” He yelled. His twin sister walked in and sat down on his bed. “Hi Anna, what do you want?” She laughed. “I don’t want anything Cassie. I was just wondering where you were last night. Dad was very worried.” Cas’s mother left them when Cas was three. Chuck always said it was because she never actually wanted kids, and when she got a job offer out of the country she left in at night when everyone was sleeping. “I know i’m sorry, I should have called. I was at a friend’s house.” Anna looked at him with disbelief. “No you weren’t, we a called all your friends.” Cas sighed. “He’s a new friend. I met him at that party friday. He seemed cool so I went over to his house yesterday. We were just talking and we fell asleep. I never planned on staying over.” Anna nodded and grabbed Cas’s laptop to look at what he was watching. “Cool the amazing spider-man. Watch together?” Cas nodded with a smile and made room so his sister could watch with him. He and his sister fought a lot but she was also his friend. Together they watched the movie. 

Part 33  
Dean didn’t do much while he waited on Gabe. He did some homework, texted with Charlie about his date and surfed the web for a while. Soon it was 5:30 P.M. and Dean started getting ready for his date. He took a shower and put on some clean clothes. He didn’t know where they were going so he decided on some basic jeans with a black t-shirt and a leather jacket. He got a text on 5:55 P.M. from Gabe saying he was on his way. Dean waited on his couch and played some games on his phone. When he heard a knock on the door he opened and Gabe stood there. Gabe had his usual smile on. “Hi Dean, ready?” Dean nodded “Hi Gabe, come in. I have to use the toilet real quick” Gabe laughed and nodded. “Okay, i’ll wait here.” Just when Dean wanted to leave Sam walked in the room. “Hi Sam, this is Gabriel. I’m going on a date with him. Gabriel this is my little brother Sam. Sam can you keep him company while I use the toilet?” Sam nodded, he didn’t look up yet. When he did shock was written all over his face. ‘Is that? No! This can’t be happening! Dean is dating him?!’ All these thought were going through his head. “Didn’t think would date such a handsome guy huh?” Gabe said with a smirk. Sam felt his face heat up. “Uh, No. I didn’t” He said, hoping he could get away with a joke. Luckily for Sam it did. Gabe laughed, and it was the most amazing thought Sam had ever heard. ‘No don’t think of him like that! He’s dating your brother!’ Sam was pulled out of his thoughts by Gabe. Come on Dean return I can’t do this anymore. “So” Sam looked up. “Little brother huh?” Sam just looked at him confused. “What do you mean?” Gabe just laughed again. “I mean that you are almost bigger than him. How much older is he?” Sam looked at the ground. Suddenly he felt so young and he didn’t like it. “Dean is 2 years older” 

Part 34  
Gabriel smiled, “That isn’t so bad.” Sam wanted to respond but he before he could, Dean walked in the room. “Okay, i’m ready shall we go?” He asked when he stood besides Gabe. He nodded and they walked out of the house, before they left Dean yelled a quick goodbye and told Sam not to wait up for him. Dean knew Sam would but he didn’t care. Gabriel opened Dean’s door and walked around the car getting into his own seat. Gabe had decided they would go to the 23 hours open diner because he figured Dean a burger kind of man and he was right. They got out of the car and sat at the same table Gabe and Cas sat last night. They were served by the same waiter. “Hey Dean,” she said. “What can I get the 2 of you? “ Dean looked up at her with a smile. “Hi Jo, this is Gabe. I would like to get the usual.” Jo nodded and wrote something down. Gabe looked up from the menu and ordered. “I would like to get the burrito menu with a coke please. I had it yesterday and it was great.” Jo smiled and walked away. “So what’s the usual?” Gabe asked when Jo had already been out of eyesight. “You’ll see” Dean answered with a wink. Jo returned a few minutes later with 2 cokes. “Thank you Jo” Dean said, she was gone again before Gabe could thank her too. “So the usual has a coke in it?” Gabe asked still curious about what Dean had ordered. Dean just nodded with a smirk and took a sip of his drink. When Jo returned 5 minutes later they just had some small talk. She gave Dean a big plate with 2 cheeseburgers a lot of fries. “Thank you again Jo” he said, she just nodded and gave Gabe his plate with a burrito and some fries. “Thank you.” He said. Jo smiled and walked away. 

Part 35  
Gabriel looked at Dean’s plate with big wide eyes. “You eat all that?” He said, referring to Dean’s very full plate. He just laughed and winked. Their dinner went smooth. It wasn’t romantic but it’ll do, what does Dean know about relationships anyway? They talked about favourite movies, music, food and cafeteria food. Gabe said he was bored most of the time because he didn’t go to college and his job was only on nights. Dean invited him to come to school tomorrow so Gabe could experience cafeteria food again. Gabe obviously said yes. They both paid for their own food and stood up and walked out of the diner. They were now more comfortable around each other so Gabe didn’t feel the need to open the car door for Dean. “This was fun.” Dean said while Gabe drove away. “Yeah, it was.” They had decided because they live so close to each other Gabe would just drive to his house and Dean would walk to his. They arrived at Gabe’s house and he parked it in the lawn. They got out and Dean walked him to his door. Dean stood before Gabe now with his back to the door. “So this was it?” Gabe said, Dean smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I guess.” ‘Kiss him!’ Dean thought. ‘No why would I do that? Because you’re supposed to kiss on the first date. That isn’t a rule! Just kiss him moron. You have to get over Cas and Gabe is really nice!’ Dean decided to listen to himself and he felt himself leaning forward. Before he closed his eyes he saw Gabe wide eyed but he felt him getting closer. They were only a few inches away from each other now and Dean could feel Gabe’s steady breath on him. He leaned in more and before he knew it, he felt Gabe’s lips on his. They didn’t do much, they just kind of stood there with lips attached to each other. Dean was the one who pulled away first. They smiled at each other. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Dean.” Gabe said. “Yeah, see you.” Gabe walked around him and opened the door. He said a quick goodbye again and before Dean could answer Gabe was already on the other side of the door. When he heard the door close, he walked out of the lawn.


	8. Chapter 8

Part 36  
After Cas and Anna finished the first amazing spider-man movie they watched the second. When the credits started rolling they were crying. (Spoilers of the end of the amazing spider-man 2) “I can’t believe they would kill her” Anna said, they were sitting on Cas’s bed. “This is the 3th time I watched it and I still cry.” Cas said. He looked at his alarm and he saw that it was already 10 P.M. “I’m really tired, I barely slept last night.” He sighed. Anna looked at her with raised eyebrows. “No!” Cas almost yelled, knowing what she was thinking. Cas knew Anna would be okay with him being gay, he also knew she suspected he was. “Not like that.” She laughed. She knew disagree with him wouldn’t help. “Can I sleep here?” She asked. Cas and Anna did that often after they watched a movie. Apparently it started after their mom left. They were both 5. Gabe just shrugged it off and pushed away everyone he loved. His family know Gabe loves them and that he shows it by pranking them. Samandriel was too young to remember, he is used to only having a father. Sometimes he asks questions and they answer him truthfully. He says he doesn’t mind only having a dad but they know he misses something in his live sometimes. Anna took it really hard, Castiel always helped her. When she felt lonely he would keep her company and when she had a bad nightmare she would sleep in his bed. It was how they grew up and it never went away. And even though Anna is the same age, Cas always felt like he had to protect her. And when she wanted to sleep in his bed after a movie he couldn’t say no. “Sure. You get changed in the bathroom and i’ll get chanced here.” Anna nodded and walked out of the room. Cas had taken his shirt off and walked towards his dresser to grab his pajama pants. He pulled off his pants and grabbed some clean underwear. He put them on and walked towards the laundry basket and tossed his dirty clothes in it. He saw lights coming through his window and he remembered to close his curtain. When he looked to see what it was he saw that it was Gabe coming home from his date. 

Part 37  
Cas knew it wrong to spy on his big brother but he was curious and he just couldn’t help himself. Gabe and his date came out of the car. Cas tried to see who it was but it was too dark to see. He saw them stop and all he could see was his brother’s date’s back. He saw them stop before the door and the boy’s back faces the door. He was still looking and just when he wanted to turn away he saw his brother kiss his date. It wasn’t a long kiss, maybe 3 seconds. They turned away from each other and smiled. Cas never saw the boy because after the turned away he just walked away, not looking back. Cas was happy for his brother, now all he hoped was that Gabe would introduce him. He closed the curtain and heard footsteps walking up the stairs. A few seconds after they stopped he heard knocking on the door. “Come in!” Cas yelled. The door opened and Gabe showed himself. “Heya Cas. How was your day?” He said with a smile. “Good, I didn’t do much. Anna and I just watched a movie. 2 actually. I saw you and your date outside of the house.” Cas said with a smirk. Suddenly Gabe’s smile faded and he looked slightly embarrassed. “I’m happy for you Gabe.” Cas said quickly after he heard how he sounded. Gabe’s smile returned. “Just don’t spy on me again okay? It’s creepy.” They both laughed. Anna came in the room. She was now wearing baby blue pajama shorts and a black top. “What’s creepy?” She asked. “Cas was spying on me.” Gabe said. Cas shot him a angry look before looking back at Anna. She just laughed. “Okay, don’t do that again Cas, he’s right, that’s creepy. But on the other hand. What did you see?” Cas looked at her and then at Gabe with a smile. “I saw him kissing his date.” He said. On that moment their father came into the room. “Gabe was on a date?” he said. “And he kissed his date? Did his date run away?” Anna and Cas both laughed and Gabe looked embarrassed at the ground. “No, he didn’t run away.” Gabe grunted. “Thanks dad, for the vote of confidence.” Their dad laughed. “Any day, Gabe. But seriously. How did your date go?”

Part 38  
Dean walked back to his house. ‘I kissed him, I really kissed him. No shit sherlock!’ Dean thought. He got to his front door and he knew Sam was gonna confront him. He opened and he was surprised to see nobody. “Sam!” He yelled, loud enough to hear if he was awake but not so loud that it could wake him. Nothing. He heard nothing. This was strange, he didn’t like it to be questioned by his brother every time he went out with someone. But he had to admit, he missed it now. ‘Maybe he was just tired, I mean it has to be that. What did I do to piss him off?’ Dean was searching for an explanation. He went to the kitchen to see if Sam was there, but when he walked in, he saw nothing. He grabbed a glass and poured water in it. He leaned against the counter and drank it. He began thinking. His mind wasn’t on the date he just had. No it was about last night. Cas just came by and they talked. Did this mean they were friends? What did Cas want? Why did Cas care? Why were they lying like that when he woke up? When did they fall asleep? Cas and Dean talked, really talked. Dean found out that when Cas wasn’t a hungover ass, he was actually nice. Maybe he was just nice so Dean wouldn’t tell anyone. Whatever it was, Dean couldn’t think about it. It was driving him insane. He was just gonna go to bed and see what happens tomorrow. He put the glass down and walked up the stairs. He quickly checked if Sam was asleep already, it was 10 P.M. so it wasn’t late but with Sam you never knew, maybe he had a big test coming up and wanted to have enough sleep. He quietly pushed the door open and saw that Sam was asleep. So maybe it wasn’t something Dean did. He thought, he hoped. He quietly shut the door and walked to his own room. He changed and got into his bed. He fell asleep fast and dreams took over his head. 

Part 39  
Gabe didn’t know how to answer that question, his family usually teased him, so when they asked him a serious question he was shocked. All those prying eyes on him didn’t help either. “It went fine.” He answered, he didn’t want to discuss his dates with his family. He loved his family but they never really paid attention to him, sure they asked about his day but they didn’t really care. Or that was Gabe thought. His family was still staring at him. When he tried to walk away he was stopped by Anna. “No, you aren’t going anywhere. Tell us more!” She wined. Gabe sighed. “I’m not gonna tell more. I’m gonna sleep!” He told and pushed Anna out of the way. Cas, Anna and their father -Chuck were left behind. They were all shocked. Gabe was almost always just fun and also a little distant but never like this. “Leave him alone. I think we pushed him a little.” Cas said quietly. His dad nodded and walked out of the door. They all knew their dad loved them but he didn’t really knew how to deal with problems. So he left them to solve it for themselves mostly. “What’s going on with him Cassie?” Anna asked. “I don’t know, I’ll try to figure it out. You just sleep in my bed and i’ll come later okay?” Anna nodded and Cas walked out of the room and walked down the hall to Gabe’s door. He knocked and as he expected, no one answered. He knocked again, a little harder this time. “What do you want Cas?” Gabe yelled through the door. Cas slowly pushed the door open and walked towards Gabe. He was lying on his bed, a few tears had run over his face. Cas had never seen Gabe like this, he was usually fun and not-caring. This, this was totally different. This was exposed, everyone could see that Gabe was crying and what he was feeling. Gabe didn’t let you see this side of him, he kept that part shut. Cas began to worry. “I just want to talk Gabe.” 

 

Part 40  
Gabe sighed and sat up, he now sat on the bed. Cas walked towards the bed and sat down next to Gabe. “What do you want to talk about?” He said. “What happened Gabe? I saw you kissing that boy.” Cas said. Gabe looked down at his hands. A single tear running down his face. “You don’t care. Nobody does.” Cas eyes widened at Gabe words. “What are you talking about? Of course we care. You’re our brother. We love you.” Cas said, making Gabe look at him by holding his head in his hands. When Cas was done he let go of Gabe’s head. Gabe looked at his hands again. “I know you guys love me but you don’t care what happened. Just like you didn’t care when you asked how school went. That was just small talk.” Cas saw more tears running down his older brother’s cheek. “Hey! Look at me. What are you talking about? What has school to do with your date?” Gabe looked into Cas’s eyes for the first time since he came into the room. “You think you care how my date went, but you really don’t. Just like when you asked how school went. You think you care but deep down you really don’t.” Gabe swallowed his nerves away. He wasn’t used to all this attention. He never spoke about his feelings. He looked away from Cas and looked down at his hands again. “Maybe if I knew before, she… she… she wouldn’t have left.” Cas was more confused. Who left. “What do you mean. Who is she?” He asked. Gabe didn’t look up but he did answer. “Our mother. She always asked how school went and I always told her exactly how it went, minute by minute. Maybe if I knew people just asked it to be nice. Maybe she wouldn’t have left. But she got sick of me and left all of us. So I never answered that question again because I don’t want you guys to leave too.” Cas grabbed his face again and made him look at Cas. “That is not true! A mother isn’t supposed to get sick of their kids! She wasn’t made to be a mother that’s why she left.” A few tears left Cas’s eye. “She didn’t leave because you told how your day went. I did the same, hell Anna told more. We were kids we didn’t know everything that doesn’t mean she got to leave. And Gabe?” Gabe’s tears stopped. Cas continued. “Don’t ever think we don’t care about how your date went. We wouldn’t ask if we didn’t care. Please don’t ever think that we don’t care. I can’t believe you shut yourself out because you thought we didn’t care, or worse we would leave you. We would never leave you. Never! You hear that, you’re stuck with us.”


	9. Chapter 9

Part 41  
Gabe looked up and smiled, not his normal smirk. But a real, honest smile. “I guess my theory was a bit pathetic.” He said, cas smiled. “Yeah, just don’t shut yourself out okay?” Gabe nodded. “I don’t know why I thought that. I just felt like it was my fault.” He said. Cas’s smile faded and was replaced by a sympathetic look. He pulled Gabe into a hug. He never hugs people but he knew Gabe needed one. “It’s not your fault. I promise. I love you brother.” he whispered. Gabe threw his arms around his brother and hugged him back. “I love you too.” They pulled apart and just looked at each other. “You okay?” Cas asked his brother. Gabe stopped crying but his eyes were still red and swollen and his face was still wet. Cas’s tears stopped too. “Yeah, I am now.” Cas stood up and walked away. He stopped in Gabe’s doorway. “Gabe?” He asked. Gabe, who was lying down again now. Sat up again and looked at him. “Yeah?” He said. “Thank you for being my big brother.” Cas said, it was true Cas loved his big brother. He looked up to him and they were good friends. Gabe’s eyes lit up and his sight began to become blurry. Before he let out another tear, Gabe rubbed his eyes. “Shut up” He said with a smile. Cas smiled, he knew this meant a lot to Gabe. “You know you can always talk to me right?” Cas said. Gabe nodded and laid down again. Cas smiled and walked out the door, closing it when he left. He walked back to his own room and opened the door quietly, making sure not to wake Anna in case she was sleeping already. “Hey Cas. How’s Gabe” She asked looking up from her phone and putting it down. She sat on the bed leaning on the headboard. When Cas looked at her in confusion she explained herself. “I couldn’t sleep when god knows was going on with Gabe.” Cas understood that. He walked towards the bed and sat down next to her. “I can’t tell you but he’s fine now. “ He said, looking into her eyes. “Wait, are those tears?” She asked shocked and referring to the wet lines on Cas’s face. “Yeah, but it’s okay now. We just talked about Gabe’s feeling and stuff. “ He said casually. Anna looked at him with disbelief and smile. “Seriously? Gabe and feelings?” Cas laughed slightly. “Yeah, but I could tell it was the first and last time. Come on, let’s sleep. We have school tomorrow.” Anna murmured something Cas couldn’t hear he figured she would want to more, but she reached for he light and turned it off. They wished each other goodnight and they both laid down. Sleep came fast for Cas. 

Part 42   
Dean woke up from the most annoying sound ever, his alarm. He grunted and hit the snooze button. Monday came too fast. After his alarm rang again he decided to get up. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, hoping to be more awake. He looked at his alarm, 7 A.M. he read. He stood up and walked towards his dresser, he picked out some clean underwear, a white t-shirt, a plaid shirt and some basic jeans. He walked towards Sam room to make sure he was awake. After he saw his little brother already fully clothed, running around in his room, getting all his books. He chuckled and walked towards his bathroom. He got out of his pajama pants and tossed his underwear in the pile out dirty clothes. He took a quick shower. He got out of the shower and grabbed one of the towels and wrapped it around his waist. He looked into mirror and smiled, he knew today would be a good day. He dried himself and put on his clothes. He walked down the stairs and saw Sam sitting at the table in the kitchen, reading some smart kid magazine as Dean calls them. “Hey Sammy.” He said, grabbing a bowl and some cereal. “It’s Sam. And we ran out of milk.” Dean cursed under his breath and put the bowl and cereal back. “That means we, I mean I have to cook?” He asked. Sam nodded, smiling before reading again. It was 7.30 already so that meant he didn’t have a lot of time. “I’m sorry but it won’t be one of those fancy breakfasts okay?” He said, a little guilty that he couldn’t make that for his brother. “It’s okay Dean.” Sam said, not looking up from his book. Dean just made scrambled eggs and tossed it on some toast. “Here you go Sammy. But eat it quick. We don’t want to be late.” He said. Sam mummered a small thank you and ate it all. Dean ate the same. Around 8 they almost ran to their car. “Come on Sammy! We don’t have all day!” Dean yelled from his car when Sam was getting his last things. “Okay, okay. We can go now.” He said when he got into the passenger seat. Dean drove out of their driveway and hurried to school, maybe missing a few red lights. 

Part 43   
Castiel woke up, he felt really happy. He figured it was from his dream, he doesn’t remember the dream but he doesn’t mind the feeling. This past few days had been hectic, with Dean and his brother. He looked at his clock next to his bed and read: 6:46 A.M. a few minutes before his alarm goes. He looked to his left and saw Anna still safe and sound a sleep. He got up and got some clean clothes, a well worn jeans, a shirt and a sweater. He walked out of his room slowly, making sure Anna doesn’t wake up. He crossed the hall towards the bathroom and stripped out of his clothes. He took a quick shower, it was peaceful, just like his feeling this morning. He knew it wouldn’t last though. As soon as his sibling woke up the house would be a mess. Gabe would be standing in the way of everything, Somehow annoying everyone, even though the aren’t in the same room sometimes. Samandriel would check his homework for the 1000th time, making sure he got everything right. Samandriel hated disappointing people, so he checked his homework a few times. And because of that he would always have to hurry so he isn’t late. Anna would complain about waking up too early and not having enough time to do her make-up. And last but not least, their father. He would let his children do whatever they wanted and left them alone. Yep, that was Castiel’s morning. He loved his family but sometimes he wishes his family wouldn’t be such a pain in the ass. He got out of the shower and wiped the damp of the mirror so he could himself. He dried himself and got into his clothes. He did his hair as good as he could, but whatever he did. It always looked messy, he didn’t mind though. It was kinda his style. He walked downstairs and because he woke up early, the house was still quiet. He doesn’t get a quiet breakfast often so he chose to cherish it. 

Part 44  
He walked into the kitchen and turned on the lights, he walked grabbed a bowl, cereal and milk. He poured the milk in the bowl and added some cereal. He sat down and was shocked when he heard something. He then remembered that more people live in this house. He figured one of his siblings woke up and went to take a shower. He grabbed his phone and opened instagram, he looked at some posts while he ate. It was quiet, but soon the quiet was disturbed by his big brother. Gabe walked in the kitchen, yawning and without a shirt. He probably just woke up and went to grab something to eat. “Heya, Cas. Why are you up so early?” He asked. Cas looked up from his phone and was now looking at his brother. “I could ask you the same thing. You normally don’t wake up this early, you have nothing to do. So why are YOU up so early?” He said matter-of-factly. Gabe chuckled, he walked towards the sink and grabbed a glass out of the cabinet above it. He poured water in it and drank it before answering. “Touché, I don’t know why i’m up so early. I just woke up. Now you.” He said. “I guess I just woke up too.” Gabe left the room and left cas alone again. Cas looked at the time and saw that it was 7.20. He wasn’t feeling the hectic morning so he decided to leave and walk to school early. He might get some extra work done in the library. Or maybe one of his friends is early too. He grabbed his boots and put them on, he put his books in his bag, put his coat on and left a note that he was leaving for school so his siblings wouldn’t be worried. When he didn’t come home saturday night, his family was really worried and he didn’t want to do that to them again. It was cold outside so he hugged his coat against himself and walked towards the school. The walk wasn’t long, only 2 miles. He arrived at school 15 minutes later. A few students were there but none of his good friends. He knew a lot of people but he was only really friends with a few. He walked into the school and took a turn left into the library, nobody was there so just made some extra work. 

Part 45  
Cas lost track of time while working on his history paper. He didn’t notice all of the other kids walking into the school and library. He didn’t even notice a few people joining him at the table. He was only pulled from his thoughts when the 5 minute warning bell rang. Shit. He still needed to go to his locked and grab his books. He got all of his stuff and quickly put them into his bag. He almost ran out of the library. He was in luck because his locked wasn’t far from it. He walked towards it and opened it. He grabbed his books. Creative writing, Math, Chemistry and French. First he had homeroom so he didn’t really have to worry about being late. Ms. Mills loved him. He made his way to the room and walked in. He wasn’t too late, he was just in time. When he walked in the bell rang again. “Just in time Castiel.” she said with a smile. “Just like always, ms Mills.” He said and began walking to his regular seat. He noticed something he hadn’t noticed this whole year: Dean is in this class. Crap! He was friends with the guy, sure. But he couldn’t stop thinking about the guy. And not normal things, things like how green his eyes are, or how his freckled dance on his nose or how soft and kissable his lips seem. Or how when he laughs his whole body laughs with him. That’s what Cas thought about and he needed it to stop. He just needed to forget about the night and just focus on being friends with the guy. Because no matter how attractive the guy is, his personality is just as awesome and beautiful. Wait what! Don’t think that. Cas shook the thought away and smiled at Dean. He looked up and smiled back. What a beautiful smile. Cas thought. He suppressed the thought and kept on walking to his regular seat in the back. This way he wouldn’t get distracted by the piercing green eyes, who just begged to be locked with his own eyes. No this is not what Cas wants. He want to focus on ms. Mills. He turned his gaze away from Dean and looked at ms. Mills. He tried to listen but his mind was could only think of one thing: Green.


	10. Chapter 10

Part 46  
Dean and Sam made it just in time at school. The 5 minute warning bell had already rang and Sam said a fast goodbye to Dean before he went his own way. Dean rushed to his locker and got out his books for the upcoming 4 periods. Math, P.E. and creative writing. He almost ran to ms. Mills’s classroom, he couldn’t afford to be late again. He walked in the classroom and saw that he was on time, he walked towards his regular seat, next to Charlie. “Hey, Charlie. How was your weekend?” He said while sitting down. She gave him a warm smile before answering. “Hi, it went good. I met a nice girl. I think her name was Dore… Dore or something like that. I have her number and we are going out again.” She thought before asking. “How is it with your one night stand? And with your mystery guy?” She asked, looking ready to gossip. Right when Dean wanted to answer a blue eyed guy came walking in the classroom. Dean’s eyes locked with his and his heart stopped. ‘No! Leave it alone. Wait! What is he doing here? No he can’t be in this class!’ Dean thought. He never paid attention to other people in this class. They were only in homeroom for about 10 minutes and he mostly stared in front him or talked with Charlie. It was like that in all his classes he found out, except for the classes he doesn’t share with Charlie. He knew Castiel Novak. Everyone knew him and his family. He had a brother whose name he had forgotten. But that brother was always pranking the students and sometimes the teachers. His sister was one of the most popular girls of the school and of course head cheerleader. She wasn’t a bitch though, Dean talked to her sometimes and she was really nice. She didn’t bully less popular people and you could see she cared. Her best friend Lisa was nice too, he talked to her sometimes but they weren’t friends or something like that. He had about 2 classes without Charlie and he talked to her a lot in those classes. Samandriel wasn’t into to sports but he was into theater, he did with such passion that people loved him for it. He wasn’t super popular but he did hang around with people who are. 

Part 47  
And last but not least, Cas. The boy Dean was friends with. Friends. Whoa, that sounded strange. They had a one night stand and now they were friends. He was popular just like his sister but he didn’t act like it. He didn’t go to a lot of parties. He had a lot of friends and he saw them hanging out often. He acted like any other popular teen but… Something was off. He wasn’t exactly that. He was quiet when he thought no one was looking. Now he thinks about Dean doesn’t know why he knows. He doesn’t have a crush on him or something like that. And he sure didn’t before they slept together, he knew of Castiel but he never actually knew him. They never talked and he probably didn’t even know Dean existed. And somehow Dean had this feeling about Cas. Like he could see through the wall Castiel had set up. And he doesn’t know why. He just wanted a simple friendship with the guy and he wanted to make that work. I mean he kissed another guy. He doesn’t need Castiel. When Dean realised he was staring, he quickly turned away, when he looked back at Cas he saw that Cas was smiling. Without realising he was doing it, Dean was smiling back. Cas walked past him and sat in a chair Dean didn’t see. Dean was now staring at nothing and lost in his thoughts, until a certain redhead decided to pull him out. She waved a hand before his eyes and he snapped out of his thoughts. “Dean?” She asked. “You listening?” She asked. Putting her hand down again. Dean nodded. “Yeah, I mean-” Charlie interrupted him. “You just got distracted by a certain blue eyed beauty?” She asked with a wide grin. Dean nodded embarrassedly, looking at his hands. “So how did it go with the mystery boy? And what’s going on with you and Novak?” Dean looked up again. Making sure ms. Mills wasn’t looked their way. “I kissed him. I mean Gabriel. That’s his name Btw. And as goes for Cas. We’re friends.” Charlie looked shocked. “Yeah, we’re friends. He came to my house and we talked it out.” He said

Part 48  
When the bell rang signaling that the class was over, Cas rushed the door out. The thoughts he was having weren’t right. They weren’t. He wasn’t supposed to have them. He rushed to French and was relieved when a certain green eyed boy didn’t walk through the door. He didn’t think he could take that. How was he supposed to be friends with the guy if he couldn’t deal looking at the back of his head for 10 minutes. Class began and mr. zach came in. “Bonjour Class. Sorry for running late.” He said. They were supposed to only speak french in this class but nobody -including mr. Zach- cared. The 50 minutes went by slow. Cas caught himself looking at the clock a few times and forced himself to pay attention because he knew that when you looked at the clock, the time would only go slower. And he was not in the mood to stay in hell for an eternity. The bell rang and Cas couldn’t wait to get out of class. He rushed to Chemistry. He shared this class with Balthazar so now he had someone to talk to. They sat in their regular seat in the back. “Hey Cassie. How is your day so far?” he asked with a smirk. Cas figured he saw the exhausted and pissed off look and decided to comment on it. “Hey Xar and don’t ask. I’m just tired.” They talked the whole class but Cas’s mind wasn’t with it. As soon as the teacher got out a bottle with green stuff, which Cas already forgot the name of. He began thinking of Dean. And it were those thoughts again. The thought who weren’t right. You wouldn’t think of normal friends like that. He didn’t think of Xar like that, why would he of Dean. It only pissed him of more. He didn’t want to think of Dean like that, but his mind didn’t care. Every Time he closed his eyes he saw Dean’s green eyes and it was driving him insane. Why couldn’t he be normal? Why did he have to think of his friend that way? He has nothing against gay people but he didn’t want to be gay. He wanted a wife and children. So he decided to ignore the so called ‘feelings’ and carry on with his life and trying to be friends with Dean was one part of it. 

 

Part 49  
The bell in homeroom rang and Dean saw Cas rush out, Dean didn’t rush though. He was still talking to Charlie. She had dropped the whole Cas thing and Dean couldn’t be more glad. “I’ll meet you in P.E.” She said, when they were walking out. When Dean looked confused she continued. “I have to run by my locker real quick. See you!” She yelled when she turned around and began walking towards her locker. Dean chuckled at his friend and turned on his heels, walking to P.E. When he pushed open the door of the locker rooms he walked into a wall of lockers on each side. It was vertical so he see the lockers. If you turned left you would walk into the girl’s locker room and of you turned right you would walk into the boy’s locker room. He turned right into the locker rooms and sat down. The locker rooms weren’t very big, they were long and had locker on both sides. A bench in the middle. The row lockers in the middle split the boy side from the girl side. The showers of the boys were on the right. And the showers of the girl’s were on left. In the locker rooms were a few guys but more were coming, Dean said hello and they return the gesture. Dean’s friends weren’t here yet so he kept quiet until they returned. He took out his gym clothes and laid them next to him on the bench. He took of his plaid shirt and was left with a plain t-shirt. Kevin, Ash and Victor came into the room all together because they had homeroom together, Dean’s face lit up. “Hey, guys. How was homeroom?” He said. Kevin just sighed and sat down next to Dean. “You know” Victor said. “The usually. Mr. Megatron wouldn’t shut up.” Dean chuckled slightly and took of his t-shirt. He put on his blue gym shirt. On the shirt was the school logo and the back was in big letters “LEBANON HIGH SCHOOL” Everyone hated the shirt but Dean thought they got a kick out of that, like they enjoyed the suffering of the students. Victor and Ash also sat down and stripped out of their clothes and put on their similar gym shirt. Dean pushed offhis shoes with his toes and got out of his pants. He put on black gym shorts, he hated them but he couldn’t wear sweatpants. “So…” Kevin began, talking for the first time since he had come in. “Charlie said you were acting weird. What’s up with that?”

Part 50   
Dean looked up, wide eyed and shocked. She wouldn’t tell them right, I mean she wouldn’t do that to Dean right? Right? “What have you heard?” He decided to ask. “Not much. Just that you were acting weird since the party. Did something happen?” Ash asked. Dean almost choked on dry air. “No! No. I… I mean- I mean nothing happened. What could happen at a party. No nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nothing at all.” Dean stammered. His friends were giving him weird looks but he was gone before they could say anything else. He ran into the gym and saw Charlie standing in the corner talking to Benny- another one of Dean’s friends. He walked towards the two and he heard Charlie saying. “Just forget I said anything. Okay Ben? Now shut up!” Before they abruptly stopped. Dean knew they were talking about him. “What did you say to him?” He asked with a sigh. Charlie looked guilty to her shoes and didn’t say anything. Benny saw Ash walking into the gym and ran towards him. “Char? Anything you want to say to me?” He asked again. Charlie looked up but didn’t say anything. She only said something when Dean was still standing over her with his hands in his side’s like a mad big brother. “Okay, “ She finally said. “I might have said, you slept with someone at the party.” Dean felt himself get mad. “You told the I slept with.” He stopped, making sure nobody could hear them. “You told them I slept with Cas?” He almost whispered. Charlie quickly shook her head. “No!” She heard herself yell. “I told them before you told me who it was. And that was why I said to Benny to forget I said anything. Because I didn’t want them to find out.” Charlie finished and looked at her shoes again, waiting on Dean to say something. “Damn it Charlie I-” Charlie Interrupted Dean. “Please Dean, don’t be mad. I didn’t say anything about Cas. I’m sorry.” Dean sighed, he never could stay mad at his little-sister-he-never-wanted. “Okay Char. But please. Don’t talk to them about things you don’t know anything about, okay? And with that I mean me. Because you wouldn’t be yourself otherwise. Okay?” Charlie nodded and ran into Dean. Hugging him hard, until he couldn’t breath anymore.


	11. Chapter 11

Part 51  
“Okay, get of me!” Dean laughed, pushing Charlie off him. At that moment their gym teacher blowed the whistle. They all gathered around him and he began explaining what they were going to do this lesson. They all had to be paired up with 1 other person -of the other gender- and make a dance. It had to be slow dance and they had to do perform it to the whole class. Dean knew he was going to fail this because he doesn’t have a dancing bone in his whole skeleton. Charlie and Dean looked at each other and without talking they had decided that they were dancing together. After mr. Singer had explained everything he had told the group to make pairs. “So I know you can’t dance. But I will make it look awesome. I promise.” Charlie laughed when she arrived next to Dean. “I know, i’m counting on it.” He said. They had an hour to pick the song, pick the dance moves and rehearse. Charlie and Dean picked angeles. Charlie teaches Dean some basic moves and they had to admit; it didn’t look bad. They had called for mr. Singer to come over. Because they were done. “Okay, what do you need son?” He said. Dean knew him very well, he was a family friend. And sure it was weird seeing him in shorts every now and then. He liked having Bobby as his gym teacher. “Hey Bobby. We’re done.” Dean said proud. The hour was almost over and they saw a few couples still rehearsing. Bobby told them to sit and wait on tribune and they did. When the hour was over, the preforming began. Half the class could go now and half the class next lesson. Unfortunately Dean and Charlie had to wait until next lesson, that meant Dean had to remember all those steps. And Dean didn’t know if he could do that. But they just had to suck it up and do it next time. The lesson was over and Bobby- Mr. Singer let everyone go to change before the next bell rang. Dean quickly changed into his normal clothes and ran out of the locker room without saying goodbye to the rest. His next lesson was on the other side of the school so he had to run. Dean wanted to go already but he had promised Charlie he’d wait because they had the same class now. They were almost late, but made it in time. All was saved, Dean thought. Until he saw a certain blue eyed beauty sitting in the classroom. Dean’s mind was racing. ‘How am I going to survive this? Think of Gabe. He’s nice. Come on think of Gabe.’

Part 52  
Cas got to creative writing and sat down. He didn’t sit in the back but he didn’t sit in front. He sat with his ‘friends’ and tried to concentrate on his book. A few people came into the classroom and he looked to see who it were. He eyes widened when he saw Dean Winchester walking into classroom. They said a small ‘hey’ to each other when Dean passed him on his way to his seat in the back. He felt Dean’s eyes burning in his back but he didn’t dare to look back. The teacher began the lesson and every time he tried to focus on the les he felt Dean’s eyes burning a hole through him and that was pretty distracting. Balthazar tried talking to him a few times but he didn’t respond, scared that when he tried moving his head. He wouldn’t be able stop himself from looking at Dean. He didn’t know why, but Dean had this attraction and it made Cas drive insane. Once again, Cas pushed his feelings away, ignoring the hole in his heart. ‘Why the hell can’t I stop thinking about him?’ He thought every time he had the urge to look at the green eyed boy. He figured that it was the thought of the 2 of them sleeping together, like they shared something that made him crazy. He didn’t know what it meant but whatever it was, Cas ignored it. He stared out in front him and tried to think of anything else. The teacher spoke and Cas just focused on that, taking more notes than the teacher was explaining. Halfway through the lesson he ran out of paper and he had to get another one out of his backpack. And normally it wouldn’t be such a big deal but this meant turning around and looking at Dean. He wasn’t sure that when he looked at Dean he could make himself look away. 

Part 53  
He didn’t have any other choice, just keep your head low. He turned around and he immediately found Dean’s eyes. They locked and looked at each other for what felt like an eternity. Cas was forced to look away when the teacher called on him for sitting turned around. He quickly grabbed a clean notebook and he couldn’t be more thankful for their strict teacher. The teacher told them to write a short story about what inspires you and Cas took the only thing that he could think of: His brother. He wrote about he was proud of how strong his brother is and about how he adored Gabe’s personality. Sure he could be an annoying bastard but his smile, not his smirk. But his real smile could light up an entire room. The students gave the teacher their stories before the bell rang again and they got up and went to the next class. As Cas expected; Dean was in his math class. This class wasn’t much different from the one before. Except the class of course. He could feel Dean’s gaze on his head and he could feel the strange attraction towards it. He also felt that he couldn’t do it. So instead of looking back, he just kept working and when the bell rang saying it was lunch time. Cas had finished 10 questions. He waited on Dean this time. He wanted to talk to him, he needed to. Dean walked towards him and his heart skipped a beat when Dean was standing in his personal space. “Hey,” Dean said with a smile. “Hey. Do you want to sit with us at lunch?” Cas said, lunch seemed the only normal subject. They made up but they didn’t know each other very well. “Only if my other friends can come too.” Dean laughed. Cas nodded, not understanding it was a joke. “Yeah of course.” They didn’t talk on their way to the cafeteria. When they came in, Cas’s eyes fell on his big brother. What the hell was he doing here?

Part 54  
Dean’s last 2 periods were hell. He looked at Cas the whole time and didn’t focus on the teacher. Now he was walking with Cas to the Cafeteria and luckily, the feeling eased. It was a comfortable feeling. That was until he saw Gabe, he saw Cas eyes widened and wondered what was going on inside his head. Again luckily he didn’t have to wonder long because Cas spoke again. “What the hell is my brother doing here?” It was now Dean’s turn to widen his eyes, he almost choked. “Brother?” He said, clearly with panic because Cas turned around. “Gabe is your brother?” Cas nodded confused at the question. Didn’t everyone know Gabe was his brother? “Yeah, do you know him?” Cas asked. Before Dean could answer, Gabe threw an arm around his little brother. “Hey Cassie. Hey Dean” he said. “Hey Gabe. “ Cas answered, Dean was still too shocked to say anything. “How do you know Dean?” Cas asked. Gabe whispered something into Cas’s ear and when he saw Cas eyes widen he knew Gabe had told him. Cas suddenly felt something he had never felt before. It wasn’t jealousy, it couldn’t have been. The air was suddenly filled with awkwardness. Dean couldn’t be more grateful when Sammy came towards the three men. “He little bro. “ Dean said. Something was off about Sam but he couldn’t quite pitch it. Maybe it was just the awkward air. “Hey Dean, Gabe and Cas?” He said. Cas nodded and laughed slightly. They walked towards a table and sat down. It was soon filled with Dean’s friends, Cas’s so called friends and Sam’s friends. The lunch was awkward to say at least but it was fun. It was probably just that he didn’t know them. They talked about star wars, bees, music and their worst nightmares. Cas’s was not being accepted, Dean’s was losing a lost one ( especially Sam) Sam’s was not being happy and Gabe’s was doing things wrong. 

Part 55  
The week went on similar to that. Cas still struggled with his ‘feelings’, he couldn’t help it. Every time his mind wasn’t busy with something, his mind would fill with thoughts about his brother’s boyfriend. It was killing him, and eating him alive. He didn’t dare to fall asleep after his dream on tuesday. He didn’t want to think about that dream, he just wanted to forget it. But he sometimes thought they were memories, memories from the night it all began. He didn’t accept those memories though. He stored them somewhere in his mind he didn’t dare going. It was the place where the name Dean was everywhere. It was the place that made Cas go insane. But as much as he wanted to avoid the Winchester, he couldn’t. Seeing him at lunch was the highlight of his day, though he would deny feeling that way. It was strange, in the classes he shared with Dean they didn’t talk. Cas was grateful about that because that left some space to focus on the teacher and not think. He and Dean became good friends, they trusted each other, as strange as that sounds. He found that Dean was a ‘true’ friend. Cas didn’t have a lot of those. Dean and his friends always sat at their table and his friends became Cas’s. He found that as much as he wanted to strangle Charlie sometimes, he loved her ‘spark’. But he was worried she would find out about his thoughts, she always says she sees the way Cas looks at Dean. Since she said that on wednesday he hardly ever looked at Dean. Gabe came every lunch because he ‘had nothing to do’ as he quoted. He and Sam became fast friends, and if Cas didn’t know better he would think Gabe would like Sam. But he knows Gabe likes Dean. He has to. If he didn’t Cas wouldn’t have a good excuse to deny and suppress his feelings for Dean. And he couldn’t accept it, he didn’t want that kind of life. He just didn’t. So he carried on his week, thinking about Dean and dreaming about him when he couldn’t live on coffee anymore. He got 15 hours of sleep since tuesday. He just had to forget it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some graphic self harm. Please don’t read if you’re sensitive to that kind of things. I do not encourage you to this. This is not the way! Please if you ever have to talk to someone, talk to me. I’m always here for you. AKF. Love y’all

Part 56  
For Dean the week was very difficult. His mind kept racing, he didn’t know what he had to think. He really liked Cas, they became fast friends but he couldn’t stop thinking something was wrong, like Cas was coping with something. He didn’t ask Cas what was wrong because he figured Cas to be a person who likes to be alone. But now that the week was over, he really regretted not saying something. What if something was really wrong? He didn’t he could forgive himself if something were to happen to Cas. He really likes Balthazar, but he always thought he didn’t accept Dean right away, like he protected Cas or something like that. He thought about Cas every minute of every day and honestly it was kinda driving the young Winchester insane. He tried to link every Cas related thought to Gabe, but it wasn’t working. He knew it wasn’t fair to Gabe but he couldn’t deal with these strong, so called ‘feelings. Sam seems to like Gabe though, they became good friends, Gabe doesn’t treat Sam as if he is 3 years younger. A lot of people do that just because he hangs out with Dean’s friends. He is 2 years younger than Dean but he is only 1 year behind Dean at school. Sam was very smart and mature for his age, and Dean could see that Gabe could see that. Maybe it was just that Gabe himself acted like a 5 year old, it made him look crazy and dumb but Dean could see that it was just personality. He didn’t know if he was imagining it but sometimes he could swear he saw Gabe looking at Sam like he never did with him. He would deny it if anybody would ask but he saw Gabe more as a friend, they didn’t even kiss again after sunday. But he couldn’t say that to Gabe, he couldn’t ruin their friendship. 

Part 57  
It was saturday morning at Dean woke up sweating and panting. He couldn’t remember his dream but it had his heart racing. He looked at his clock and read 9 A.M. shit! It was way too early to be up. He normally slept ‘till 11. But he knew he couldn’t fall asleep again so he grabbed his laptop off his nightstand and sat up on his bed, placing his laptop on his lap. He logged into Netflix and started his guilty pleasure: Doctor Sexy. He knew it wasn’t the most manly show but he had a secret crush on the doctor and he really enjoyed the show. He watched 2 episodes when his stomach started growling. It was 10:37 and he decided it was time to get out of bed. He sat his laptop down on his nightstand again and got out of bed. He grabbed a clean shirt and yesterday’s pants and walked to the bathroom. On the way he watched to see if Sam was already awake. He wasn’t shocked when he saw his not so little brother sitting at his desk in front of what seemed like maths. He chuckled and shook his at disbelieve and continued walking to the bathroom. He took a quick shower, washing his face, hair and body. He got out checked himself out in the mirror real quick and got into his well worn jeans and a black shirt with over that a red plaid shirt leaving it unbuttoned. He walked out of the bathroom when he felt his phone buzzing. He opened and saw a message from Gabe. He opened it and read it. ‘Hey.’ Dean replied with a simple, ‘hey, what’s up?’ It was about 2 minutes when Gabe replied. He sat at the kitchen table now. ‘Not much. Do you and Sam want to come over?’ It read. After seeing how he and Sam were he was wondering if it was him or Sam he wanted to see. It didn’t really matter to him because Gabe was one of Dean’s best friends. He didn’t even ask if Sam wanted to go because he knew he would. He typed a message and clicked send. ‘Sure, we’ll be there in 20. “ 

 

Part 58  
Cas woke up at 11 A.M. He found that for the first time in this week, he wouldn’t see Dean. He was sad that he couldn’t see him but he was also relieved. He didn’t think he could handle it. Dean is this house, seeing him. He thought he would explode if he would see Dean now. He liked talking to the guy and sure they were friends. But he made him feel a way he shouldn’t feel, or wanted to feel. His head was full and the suppressed feelings were boiling up. He really needed weekend. Just a day to relax. He got out of bed with a lot of force and grabbed some sweatpants and a sweater. He wasn’t planning on going out today so he didn’t care how he looked. He walked towards the bathroom and he hoped none of his siblings would see him. For once luck was on his side, he got to the bathroom without having to talk to his siblings. He stripped out of his pajama pants and got into the shower. He took a long good shower. His tight muscles relaxed and it was the best feeling ever. He didn’t know how long the shower was but when he got out and looked at his phone he saw that it was 12 P.M. He never took that long to shower but he needed it. Instead of feeling stressed and frustrated he felt warm inside, like he could take on anything right now. He put on his sweatpants and sweater. He heard some sounds outside the door but he didn’t think much of it. He pushed open the door and it opened only to find Gabriel, the youngest Winchester and the boy he had been missing but was glad not to see him at the same time. Dean. His warm and relaxed feeling were soon pushed away and were replaced by the stressed muscles and a pounding head. He couldn’t do this, not now. He couldn’t 

Part 59   
He was still staring at Dean when his brother began talking. “Hey little bro? Had a good shower?” He said with a smirk, he figured Gabe knew he took a really long shower. He didn’t respond for a few moments that felt like forever. His eyes were still locked with Dean’s. The surprise of seeing him and him looking even better well rested had overwhelmed Cas. He tore his eyes away from him and now looked at Gabe before remembering his question. “Uhm.. Y-yeah. Yeah, it was fine.” He stuttered. Dean’s eyes were burning a hole through Cas before Cas pushed them out of the way, walking to his room. He didn’t even look at Dean while doing it, but he felt Dean’s eyes on him. He closed the door of his room after him and threw his pajama on his bed. He waited for the door closing of Gabe’s room before going back out again. He walked towards the bathroom and closed the door, he didn’t even remember if he locked it. He just collapsed on the ground. Knees to his chest and rocking back and forth while crying hysterically. He tried to be as quiet as possible, not wanting Dean to hear him. But sometimes he couldn’t let it inside. All his feelings of the past week came back, all at once and it overwhelmed him. It was too much. He couldn’t breath. Just too much. He didn’t want to feel those things. He want’s to have a normal apple pie life. Having a wife and kids of his own. Having feeling for his brother’s boyfriend didn’t fit in that plan. But here he was rocking back and forth while crying and gasping for air. When had it come to this? Why did it come to this? Why did he have to have feeling for someone he doesn’t want? He couldn’t take it anymore. He tried to stand up, to face himself in the mirror and tell himself to man-up and forget these ‘feelings’ but as soon as he stood up his eyes fell on one thing and one thing only: His razor blade. 

Part 60  
He shouldn’t do it, he knows he shouldn't. He never wanted to do it and he still doesn’t. He doesn’t hate himself and he isn’t depressed. But his mind is racing and he can’t breath. He has to do something. If he doesn’t, he’ll pass out. He just has to feel something, feel anything. He can’t deal with this, with these feelings. He had piled them up and it was fine until he led his guard down and was blindsided by the most beautiful green eyes. He just can’t feel like this. He CAN’T. His whole body was shaking when he picked up the razor. His mind was still racing and he couldn’t concentrate. His sight was blurry from all the tears. He pressed the razor against his skin on his forearm and it stings when the first little wound was made. He pressed it deeper and he slided it horizontal. It made a deep cut and he watches as the blood drips on the floor. He took the razor of his skin and he let it fall on the ground. He watched the cut and it hurts like hell but he had managed to breath again. The crying had stopped and he figured so had his panic attic. He sits down on the ground and picks up some toilet paper. He presses it against the wound. He shuts his eyes at the sting he get’s from the wound. He doesn’t open his eyes. He shouldn't've done it, he shouldn’t have. He knows that, but it was the only way and it worked. He let’s his head rest against the wall and he just sits in silence. He couldn’t hear a thing and the wound was almost forgotten. His eyes widened when he heard someone come in. Shit! He had forgotten to lock the door. He was tried to quickly stand up but as soon as he puts any pressure on the cut it hurts like hell again. He looked up to see who was the person who would now know Cas’s darkest secret. He cursed under his breath when he saw a certain green boy standing in the doorway with wide eyes and concern on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I don’t encourage you to do this! Please don’t do this to yourself! This is NOT the way. Please if you ever feel the need to do his talk to someone. It doesn’t have to be a parent or shrink. I am also here. Talk to me if you need. I’m always here for you!)


	13. Chapter 13

Part 61  
Seeing Cas was hard, he had to keep reminding himself that staring is weird. But he hadn’t expected to look so hot and relaxed. He looked so calm after that shower, and those sweatpants looked good on him. But as soon as he saw Dean that changed. He saw all those muscles tense up and Dean felt guilty. Cas pushed by them and went into the room, Dean just followed Gabe and Sam into Gabe’s room. After a few minutes he had to go to the bathroom and there it was. Cas was sitting on the ground with a pile of bloody toilet paper on his left forearm. He saw the bloody razor blade lying a few feet from Cas and dean put 2 and 2 together. No, this couldn’t be happening. Why would Cas hurt his own beautiful body? What can you possibly hate about yourself when you’re perfect? Cas looked at him with wide blue eyes. They weren’t the same as he had seen last week, they were tired, dull and full of hurt. He hadn’t noticed the whole week because he avoided looking at the blue eyes, he couldn’t take it. “Dean.” The tired boy spoke with a tired voice. Dean soon closed the door and made sure to lock it. He ran towards Cas and he saw a first aid kid lying next to sink. He grabbed it and took out everything, looking for bandages. They didn’t say anything, Cas just let Dean do what he needed to do. He pulled off the toilet paper and threw it away in the waste basket. His mouth went open with shock when he saw what Cas had done to himself. How could he do this? “Cas.” He said, his voice breaking and a single tear escaping his eye. He looked at Cas and Cas looked back, again not with his normal big bright eyes. Again just tired, he didn’t even care that Dean was there. “Please.” Cas said. “Don’t tell.” Dean nodded, he continued. Ignoring the pain in his heart he had because of how tired Cas sounded. Just tired and broken. Did Dean break him? 

Part 62  
He stood up and grabbed a towel and held it under water. He let the water drip on the floor and sat down next to Cas again. They didn’t say anything and Dean was worried. “Cas you need to keep your eyes open.” He knew Cas wouldn’t die, because the cut wasn’t that deep and he hadn’t lost nearly enough blood. But he saw how tired Cas’s body is and he wondered if he slept at all this week. He grabbed Cas’s arm gently and pressed the towel against the wound. He felt Cas trying to pull his arm away but Dean didn’t let him. “I know it hurts. But I need to clean it.” Cas relaxed a little and let Dean do what he needed again. “I’m sorry” He grumbled. Dean didn’t reply, he just kept cleaning the wound. Once the bleeding had stopped and the towel was bloody, Dena picked up the gauze and put it on the wound, he rolled the bandage around it and closed it with some sticky bandage. After Cas looked more awake Dean dared to ask what had been bothering since he walked through the door. “Why?” Dean asked, looking at his hands. Voice weak and barely hearable. He looked at Cas and he saw Cas was staring back. “Why would you do this to yourself?” Cas looked away and Dean figured it he was embarrassed. “I can’t tell you.” He said. Still looking away. “Cas. You have to tell me. I won’t tell anyone but I have to know that you won’t do it again.” Dean said, voice steady but still soft and barely hearable. “You’ll hate me” Cas said. Dean was shocked by his words. What could be so bad, Dean would hate him? “I will never hate you. Never” Cas turned to look at him. “I…” He said, eyes still on his lap. His voice weak. And it broke Dean’s heart every time he heard it. It sounded so broken. Cas finally looked at him. Eyes locking with Dean’s. They had looked at each other before but never like this. It was like Cas could look into his soul and Dean could look into his. “I…” He began. “I, uhm… I like you. Like the way… Like i’m falling in love with you. “ 

Part 63  
Dean’s mouth fell open for what felt like the hundredth time this day. “Cas, who cares that you’re gay? I’m gay and so is Gabe.” Cas sighed and a few tears escaped his eyes. “I knew you were going to hate m-” Dean interrupted. “I don’t hate you.” Cas sighed again and he couldn’t look at Dean. “I don’t want to be gay.” Dean looked him with confusion. “I want a wife and my own kids. And I don’t want to be bullied or judged. I had it all figured out before you came. You blindsided me. And as much as I want to hate you- I can’t. And I hate it. I don’t want to feel like this.” Dean felt anger inside him. What was so bad about being gay. He stood up, Cas was right. He was mad, so mad. Wtf he doesn’t want to be gay? Well guess what, it ain’t gonna change and it’ll only ruin his life. He couldn’t help but almost yell when he spoke. “ So, what’s your plan? Deny your feelings for me? Look for some girl? And if you would be able to keep your attraction under control and you ‘like’ a girl. Would it be fair towards her? You would ruin her life. And wouldn’t you rather be happy with me? We could be happy together Cas? Can’t you see that?” Cas widened his eyes at Dean’s confession. “Dean-” He couldn’t finish his sentence, so he just stood up. “No you listen. I liked you since that night, you told me to forget about it. And I did. You asked me to ‘just be friends’ and I did. I did everything you wanted. I even went out with your brother even though it is obvious he is in love with my little brother!” Dean stopped to change his tone so gabe and Sam wouldn’t hear.

Part 64  
“But what I am not going to do is watch while you go and ruin your life. You don’t have to be with me but Please. “ Dean begged. “Please accept yourself. Because if you don’t, you’ll wake up 30 years later, married to some girl and you have some kids. Everything you want now. But you’ll see that you aren’t happy. But if you accept yourself, you’ll be with some great guy, it doesn’t have to be me. But you’ll be happy and sure people will judge but you’ll be honest to yourself and after highschool you 2 can get married and later adopt kids. In case you didn’t know, adopted kids are as much yours as kids who have your DNA. ” Cas looked at Dean. He was shocked to say the least. “What about Gabe? I know you 2 are together.” He said. Dean chuckled slightly. “No we aren’t, we haven’t talked about it but I know we aren’t. I think he’s in love with Sammy. And to be honest they would be great together. Why are you asking?” He said. Anger was still inside of him. “Because I want all that.” Dean turned to look at him. “What? Accepting yourself or having a wife?” Cas smiled slightly, for like the first time in… Ever. “Being with you.” Dean was speechless. Cas stepped in the forward, stepping into Dean’s personal space. The hurt in his forearm was long forgotten. “I want to. Be. With. You.” He said pausing after every word. “I want to be with-” Dean was cut of by Cas’s mouth on his. First he was surprised but after realizing what was happening he kissed back. It felt like electric. Cas’s mouth fit perfectly on his and he loved the taste of Cas. It was like a drug, he couldn’t get enough. Cas’s arm found his way around Dean’s neck and Dean wrapped his arms around Cas bag, pressing them closer together.

Part 65  
The stood like that for what felt like forever but after a while, they parted because they had to breath. Dean wanted more, no. He needed more. But he knew that had to take it slow, they started wrong and now they had to take it slow. “Cas?” Dean said, he needed to know this. “Did you mean it? Do you accept yourself?” Cas stepped back a little. He still stood in Dean’s personal place but Dean still missed the warmth. “Yeah, i’m gay. And I like you very much.” Dean smiled but he still had one question. “Do you promise to stop cutting yourself?” Cas stepped closer again and pressed his lips on Dean’s for 2 seconds before stepping back again. “I promise. I never did it. And I never felt like doing it. But I couldn’t breath, I didn’t know what I wanted. But now I know.” dean smiled and stepped towards Cas, instead of kissing him he hugged him. “I didn’t push you to this right?” He didn’t want Cas to hate him later because he forced him out of the closet. “No, it’s my choice. I want to be with you. Do you want to be with me?” He asked. “Yeah, I would love to. But first we have to clean this mess up. “ Cas nodded and began cleaning. As soon as everything was clean again they walked out of the bathroom. “Dean,” Cas called, pulling dean into the bathroom again. “Can we please don’t say anything yet?” Dean nodded and gave him a quick kiss on the forehead. “Sure but Cas?” Cas looked at him with those bright eyes again and it made Dean’s heart skip a beat. “Yeah Dean?” He said. “We’ll take it slow but I don’t want to hide it forever. I have had those times and I don’t want you or me to be embarrassed to be who we are.” Cas sighed and smiled. “I know, and we won’t. I just need to get used to this.” He waved his hands between him and Dean. “Okay.” he just said. They shared one last kiss before parting ways. Dean still needed to talk to Gabe.


	14. Chapter 14

Part 66  
Dean looked back at Cas but he was already walking into his room. He stopped before Gabe’s bedroom door. This was really happening, he really kissed Cas. He touched his lips with 2 tender fingers, he could still feel Cas’s lips there. He put his hands down and walked through the door. “Hey what took you so long?” Gabe said, not looking up from his game. Him and Sam were playing some kind of game on the computer. “Gabe.” Dean said, still standing in the doorway. Gabe turned to look at Dean, probably hearing it was serious. “Can I talk to you?” Gabe and Sam looked confused but Gabe stood up and left the room. “What do you want to talk about?” Gabe said, still confused about Dean’s sudden desire to talk. “I… Uh… Wanted to talk to you about that… Uhm… Kiss- “ Gabe interrupted him. “Dean, I… I don’t want anything with you. I mean, I want to be your friend but nothing more. Sorry if you can’t be my friend.” Dean chuckled. “Okay, thank god.” Gabe only looked more confused. “I want to be your friend but I kinda like Cas. A lot. And I see the way you look at Sam.” Dean said with a wink. “Wait! You like Cas? Like my little brother Cassie?” Gabe said. “Yeah, like you like my little brother Sammy.” Dean said. “I know but I hate to break to you but Cas isn’t gay.” Gabe responded. That was when Dean realised. Shit he promised not to say anything. Well done Winchester. “Well, he is. We’re together. But you can’t tell ANYONE Gabe. I mean it. I wasn’t even supposed to say it to you.” Gabe’s shock was still on his face but he managed to nod. “Yeah, okay. I’m glad for you two. And about Sammy, do you think he likes me?” Gabe said. A little embarrassed to ask. “Yeah, I really think he does. Let’s make a deal. You go to Sam now and I go to Cas okay? And we won’t bother each other. Deal?” Dean said with raised eyebrows. Gabe sighed. “Okay deal.” Dean pulled him into a hug and Gabe gladly returned it. The broke apart and Dean went to Cas’s room and Gabe went to his. 

 

Part 67   
Gabriel opened the door and stood in the doorway for a few moments, just looking at Sam. He never met someone like him, so smart but with an adorable kind of humor. Sam was still on the computer, looking at the menu screen and Gabe smiled at the sight. Before Sam would notice him, he went to sit next to him. “Hey, so what was that all about?” Sam asked, a smile on his face. Gabe smiled back. “Nothing, Dean just wanted my… permission.” Gabe said, not sure what to say - for once-. “Dean never asks permission.” Sam said matter-of-factly- “Well, he did.” Gabe said. Sam smiled faded and he looked at his lap. Gabe’s smile faded as well. “Ohh, right. I forgot you were special.” Sam said, soft. He still looked at his lap. “Hey what’s that supposed to mean?” Gabe said, the conversation took a turn and it was very serious all of a sudden. Gabe seemed to have a lot of those these past week. “It means that you are his boyfriend. And… I-” Sam said, but Gabe interrupted him with a laugh he couldn’t hold back. Sam just stared wide eyed at him, clearly oblivious to what was going on. “What?” He said. “I’m sorry.” Gabe said, wiping his eyes for ‘tears’ “But Dean and I are NOT boyfriends. We kissed? Yes. Boyfriends? No. He has… Someone else.” Gabe said, his voice a little more serious now. Sam suddenly looked really embarrassed. “Oh, well who is it?” Sam said, trying to hide the excitement inside him. “I’m sorry Sammy. I can’t tell you. It’s someone who is good and who’ll make Dean very happy. Believe me. But he’s not totally ‘ready’ to ‘come out’. You’ll find out soon enough.” Gabe said, still smiling at Sam’s adorable moment of jealousy. “Okay, so what do you want to do now?” Sam said, clearly trying to change the subject. “Well we could watch a movie. You up for that?” Gabe said, picking up his laptop and sitting on his bed. “Yeah, sure.” Sam sat down next to Gabe, ignoring how their bodies were pressed together. 

 

Part 68  
Dean knocked on Cas’s door before entering. “Hey,” he said. Cas was lying on his bed. He was facing the ceiling. “So? How did he react?” Cas said, not moving. “He took it well I think. I do have to tell you one thing though. “ Dean said. Sitting down on the bed, not daring to get closer. He still didn’t know what Cas and he were. Cas’s face turned to meet Dean’s eyes. Dean saw that Cas’s eyes were brighter, like they shine again. He suddenly remembered something about that night. It wasn’t much, just blue. A bright blue, and pain. He doesn’t remember events, just images. Somewhere deep in his heart he knew, he knew Cas wasn’t ‘gay’. Suddenly a flow of guilt flew over him. Did he push Cas out of the closet. At the party Cas didn’t accept himself. Maybe Cas didn’t want Dean at the party. “Hey Cas?” Dean said, clearly forgetting the fact that he was supposed to tell something. “Yes Dean?” Cas said with the voice that sent shivers down Dean’s spine. “Do you remember anything about… The party?” He said. Cas suddenly sat up, leaning against Dean. He was playing with shirt. “What do you mean?” Cas said. “I mean, do you remember anything about meeting me? About that night?” Dean said. Looking at his lap. His hands playing with one of Cas’s. “I remember… Seeing you. And thinking you were hot. And I remember your green eyes. And I remember wanting you. Why do you ask Dean?” Cas said, looking at Dean now. “I was just wondering. I know I didn’t ‘push you’ out of the closet now. But I don’t know if I ‘pushed you’ out of the closet at the party. And.. I just didn’t want to do that. And because all I remember is your blue eyes, I just wanted to be sure.” Dean answered. 

 

Part 69  
They looked at each other before Cas pushed himself up and placed a small kiss on Dean’s lips. This kiss wasn’t rushed like in the bathroom, Cas took his time. It was also the first time Cas took the step, and Dean knew it was a sign that Cas was beginning to accept himself more and more. Cas pulled away and Dean winced at the sudden loss of warmth. “You didn’t ‘push’ me out of the closet. I wanted it. I knew and know I did. I just had problems with accepting myself. And because of that I did… things. I’m not proud of. And you were there.” Cas looked away for a second before continuing. “I thought I had to avoid you, because I couldn’t feel this way. But as hard as I tried, I couldn’t. I had to be your friend. Because even though I couldn’t do the things I can do now. I had to be in your presence. You saved me Dean. I thought I had it all figured out, but I had the furthest from it. I know it won’t be easy but we’ll do it together. I hope. I still have to get used to… this. But I hope you’ll be there for me. I just want you to know that you didn’t force yourself on me. Never ever! Did you ever force yourself on me. I wanted it too. “ When Cas finished Dean could feel a single tear running down his cheek. “Cas” Was all Dean could say. Cas wiped the tear away with his sleeve, before pulling Dean in for another kiss. It was tender, and over way too quickly. Cas laid down and pulled Dean down to lay down next to him. Dean let Cas pull him down and he let his head rest on Cas’s pillow. Cas kissed him a few times before letting his head rest on Dean’s chest. Dean laid his arm around Cas and pulled him half on top of him. It was the most comfortable Dean had ever laid down. He never wanted it to stop. He felt Cas drift off and chuckled slightly at Cas’s little snore. It was the middle of the day, but they didn’t care. It was a hectic day and they were exhausted. He gave Cas a little kiss on the top of his head before falling asleep himself. 

 

Part 70  
“Hey, Where are Dean and Cas?” Sam asked after they watched the second star wars movie. “I don’t know. “ Gabe said, hiding a smirk. “I’ll check on them.” Sam said, standing up and walking to the door. Gabe jumped up and ran towards the door. He jumped in front of Sam and Sam was stunned in confusion. “Gabe, what are you doing?” Sam asked, voice steady. Gabe didn’t exactly plan this and he just stood, frozen in the spot. Sam pushed him out of the way and opened the door. He walked out of it before Gabe could gather his thoughts. He snapped back into thoughts and ran towards Sam. “Sam please, just watch another movie.” Gabe begged. Sam raised his eyebrow. “I don’t know if you know me but saying things like that… It makes me all the more curious. Why can’t I just check on Dean?” Sam said. He thought about it for about a minute, because Gabe didn’t answer. Sam’s face fell and he looked at the ground. “You and Dean got into a fight huh?” Sam asked, turning away from the door. Gabe didn’t know what to say, except for not letting Sam leave like that. “Sam!” Gabe yelled, a little too loud for such a small place. “Me and Dean didn’t get into a fight. I told you, Dean likes someone else… And so do… I” He said, it was now Gabe’s turn to look at the ground. Before the conversation could get too serious for Gabriel, he shot back into his ‘trickster’ personality. “So… You wanted to see Dean?” Gabe asked. Sam nodded and walked towards the door. As much as Gabe wanted to protect Cas, he couldn’t lie to Sam. Sam opened the door and his eyes widened at the sight. “Dean… And…. Cas? Dean likes your brother?” Sam asked. He couldn’t believe it. Dean and… Cas. Since was Cas gay? He had girlfriends before, Sam knew that. But there he was, head on Dean’s chest. It was adorable if it wasn’t too shocking for Sam.


	15. Chapter 15

Part 71  
Dean’s dream was awesome. He was with Cas and they were alone. Totally alone. None of the judgy people Cas is afraid of and none of those people they love but sometimes want to kill. They were happy and free. It was short lived though, because Dean was abruptly pulled from his dreams by a certain big little brother. “Dean!” He yelled, Dean’s eyes shot open. He wasn’t supposed to know like this. Dean just wanted to tell him the old fashioned way. Cas deserved that. Shit! Cas. He didn’t know Cas liked boys too. His mind wasn’t focused on Sam on or himself. All his focus was suddenly on Cas. “Sam! Please leave. We’ll explain later.” Dean said in his still sleepy voice. “But… Dean!- “ Sam began. “SAM!” Dean yelled. Sam and Gabe left the room and Gabe shot him an apologetic look. His face turned to Cas and to his surprise he saw that he still had his eyes closed. Something in Dean told him Cas wasn’t asleep though. It was something about his heartbeat. They were still curled up together and with his raging heartbeat, Dean could feel and hear it perfectly. “Cas,” Dean said, voice soft. His hand went to Cas’s head and played with his hair. “They’re gone. It’s okay.” Dean said. Cas’s eyes opened and his head left Dean’s chest before returning. “What am I going to do?” Cas asked, voice breaking once again. Dean could feel some wet points on his shirt and he reached out his hand to Cas. He took it and they intertwined their fingers. “I don’t know. I know Sam accepts you, but you’ll have to answer some questions.” Dean said. He felt Cas’s heartbeat steady and he let out a breath he didn’t even knew he was holding. “No, I mean. What am I going to do? I freaked out Dean, as soon as Sam came in. I freaked out. What am I going to do?” He asked. Dean’s heart hurt as he hurt Cas’s words. “Are you ashamed?” Dean asked, and honestly, he was afraid to know the answer. Cas sighed. “I don’t know.” 

 

Part 72  
Cas sighed again, and pulled his head up again and this time he didn’t return to Dean’s chest. They moved so they were both leaning against headboard. Cas tried to look into Dean’s eyes but Dean turned away. Dean was trying to hold back the tears, he had just got this. He wasn’t ready to give this up yet, but he didn’t want to go back into the closet. “I know what I feel, Dean.” Cas said. His voice was so soft, Dean might think he had imaged the voice if it didn’t continue. “I like you… a lot. And I… I want you.” Dean looked at Cas and he couldn’t hold back the tears. He wasn’t the only one letting tears roll, Cas was also having some allergies. “I just… I don’t know how to… come out. I know our friends are good people but what about the rest of the world Dean? A lot of them are judgy and racist. A lot of them are egoistic and a lot of them don’t accept us. All I ever wanted to do was help people, and now I might cause them more trouble. I don’t want to cause people trouble by liking someone, Dean.” Dean felt his knuckled tighten when he heard about how Cas saw the world… And himself. “Cas. Yes the world is all those things. But the world is also beautiful. Sure those people are there. But let me insure you, the better part of the world is nice and accepting. And fuck those people who think you cause them trouble by liking me. You deserve to be happy. I’ll help you, I promise. We’ll do this together. But first, we have to go out of this room and confront Sammy. “ Dean smiled and Cas smiled back. He seemed to do that a lot since he ‘accepted’ himself. Dean stood up from the bed and held out his hand for Cas to take it. They walked towards the door but Dean stopped and looked at Cas. Cas didn’t know what was going on but he looked back. Dean leaned in and kissed Cas. It was just a peck on the lips but they both knew it was way more. Together they walked out of the room and walked toward Gabe’s. 

 

Part 73  
Somewhere on their way to Gabe’s room Cas had grabbed Dean’s hand and intertwined their fingers. They stopped and Dean saw Cas hyperventilate. “Hey, hey” Dean shushed. Cas was shaking and tears threatened to leave his eyes. Dean threw his arms around and hugged him close. He could feel Cas relax under his arm, after a while, Cas hugged him back. “It’s okay to be nervous, but remember: This is your family. Family loves you, and everyone who doesn’t love you, doesn’t matter.” Dean said. They pulled away and Dean wiped his thumb across Cas’s cheek, wiping away all the tears. Cas shot Dean a small smile and looked at his eyes, Dean looked back and their eyes locker for what felt like forever but also like they tore their gaze away way too early. “You okay?” Dean asked. “We should really head in, they deserve answers.” Cas stated. He reached for the doorknob but when he reached it, he couldn’t get himself to turn it. Dean let his hand rest on Cas’s end together they turned the doorknob, like it couldn’t be done by one man. When they walked in, they say Sam and Gabe sitting on Gabe’s bed. Cross legged, facing each other, like they were talking. Which they probably were. “Cas. “ Sam breathed, jumping of the bed but sitting back down once he realised what he was doing. “Sam, Gabe. I understand you have questions?” Cas said, keeping his voice as casual as possible. Cas still didn’t let go of Dean’s hand and he wasn’t planning on it any time soon. They sat down next to each other on the bed and were now sitting cross legged facing Sam and Gabe. “So Cas. Gay?” Gabe smirked. “Anna will love this.” Gabe continued. Cas sighed. “Gabe, can you please be serious. It wasn’t easy for me to ‘come out’ or whatever.” He said. Dean nodded in agreement. “Yeah, of course Cas.” Gabe said, smirk replaced by a small smile. “Before I begin let me tell you that, yes I had troubles with accepting myself and I still have troubles. I couldn’t have done it without Dean so thank you Dean.” Cas said, turning to Dean and giving him a small kiss on the lips. Dean was surprised but happily returned the favor. Dean could feel his heart then and there grow ten times. 

 

Part 74  
Gabe sighed and put his hands between the pair. “Okay quit the fluffy pluffy. I need answers. And so does Sasquatch because 2 hours ago he thought that me and Dean were together.” Gabe said, putting an arm around Sam. Sam nodded in agreement. “Okay, so last week, friday. At the party me and Dean… We… We you know…-” Cas began, not figuring out his words. Gabe interrupted him. “Okay! Okay! When we said we needed answers we didn’t say we needed all the details. So you and Dean did you know? It?” Gabe said with a smirk. Dean looked away in embarrassment and Cas coughed awkwardly. “Yeah… We did” Cas said, still looking awkward. Dean didn’t say anything, he just held his hand and that was all Cas could hope for. “I didn’t think I was, you know… Gay. So I told him to forget it. After a while the feeling still didn’t go away. And you know the rest.” Cas said. He made it clear that he didn’t want to go into details. “So you and Dean are like a thing now?” Sam said, speaking for the first time since Cas said something. Dean coughed, letting Cas know he’ll tell them. “We don’t know, we’re… just taking it slow, I guess?” Dean said. Cas would lie if he said it was the best feeling ever, coming out. Because it really wasn’t, it just made things more complicated. All of the sudden, his biggest fear wasn’t private anymore, Dean knew his fears. But he would also lie if he said he didn’t feel some kind of relief. Sure he was scared out of his mind. But it was a ‘good’ kind of fear. If there is such a thing. He was just glad he didn’t need to pretend anymore. He just felt ‘good’ right now. And maybe, just maybe. He could sleep tonight. Really sleep. More than 3 hours. More than needed to survive, more than necessary. He didn’t know why, but meeting Dean that night. Was the most complicated thing to ever happen to Cas. And it made him question everything he believed in, and he lost countless hours of sleep because of it but it was also the best thing to ever happen to Cas. “Hey you okay?” Dean asked, and just that tone of concern, that it what makes all the doubts disappear. 

 

Part 75  
Cas hugged Dean slightly and whispered a small “I’m fine” Dean nodded although he knew Cas wasn’t really. It was as if Dean could read him, like just one look at Cas could give him all the answers. Dean suddenly stood up from the bed, pulling Cas from his far away thoughts. He held out his hand for Cas to take. He took it and they walked hand-in-hand out of the room. Once they were in Dean’s room Dean spoke again. “Hey, you sure you okay?” Dean asked. “Yeah, i’m fine. I’m just tired. “ He said with a small smile. “Right, I should probably go. You know, let you rest. You lost a lot of blood.” He said, voice breaking at the words of blood.” Cas stepped in front of Dean, leaving only a foot in between them. “I will never do that again. I promise. I don’t know why I did it. It just seemed right and I was too tired to resist. I guess.” He said. Placing a hand on Dean’s chin, turning his head so he was looking in his eyes. “Your eyes are beautiful.” He said, almost whispering. He could see a small blush on Dean’s cheek and it made him chuckle. “You know I never thought I could make Dean Winchester blush.” He said, only making the blush brighter. “Shut up, you never even knew I existed.” Dean said, turning his head so he could force the blush away. “I did. I never knew you. But I knew óf you. I saw you sometimes, sometimes at school or sometimes outside with your brother. I saw how you were with him. You were always smiling. I guess I was kind of jealous of you. You seemed like you had it all together, you’re not ashamed of who you are, you’re just you and screw the rest. I wish I could think like that. Just screw the rest. I overthink everything, and it makes me do stupid things. You saw that today. And I don’t know why but you’re here, with me. So thank you.” Cas said. Dean saw tears coming. “For what?” He asked. “For just being here. For not letting me ruin my life.” He said. He didn’t know how Dean crawled his way into Cas’s heart so fast but he didn’t fight the feelings anymore. Because in this exact moment, everything seemed perfect. In this moment, there was no fear, no doubt, just Dean. And it was perfect. “You know, we have to stop doing that.” Dean chuckled. “Doing what?” Cas asked serious. “Having these chick-flick moments” He said. Cas chuckled. “I don’t know you that long but I already know that you love those. “ He said. And it was true, Dean Winchester, who wears leather jackets and who drives an impala 67. That Dean Winchester loves chick-flick moment. Especially if it was with Castiel Novak.


	16. Chapter 16

Part 76  
Silence fell, comfortable silence. They stood like that for a while, just facing each other, inches away from each other. Lost in each other’s eyes, resisting the urge to rip each other's clothes off. Dean was the first one to look away, not wanting to mess up the little good thing they just started. “So, you know. I should really go... I mean it’s getting late.” He started turning away and walking away before Cas grabbed his arm and pulled him even closer than he already was. They were now centimeters from each other. “Or… You could stay.” Cas said. Dean raised an eyebrow, as if waiting for confirmation that it is really okay to stay. “I don’t know Cas. I mean we just started… doing whatever it we’re doing. I don’t want to mess that up.” He said, hating every word that came out of his mouth. Cas just chuckled. “We’re not going to do anything. Just sleeping, after today. I need you. Just stay. Please?” Cas said, and who was Dean to turn down those beautiful prying eyes. “Okay. I’ll stay. I don’t think Sam will mind staying with Gabe. I mean he’s already in love with guy.” Dean said bluntly. Cas chuckled and he threw his arms around Dean for a hug. Dean quickly threw his arms around Cas and let his hands rest on Cas’s hips. Dean didn’t know how long they stood like that, all he knew is that they parted way too soon. Dean winced at the sudden loss of warmth. “You hungry?” Cas asked, as if he was reading Dean’s mind. “Starving.” Dean said with a wide smile. Hand-in-hand they walked out of the room and into the kitchen. Dinner was cooked by Dean and Cas, because Chuck had to work. They made pizza. Cas made the dough and spread it and Dean put the tomato juice on it. Together they spread the mozzarella and cheese. There may have been a small food fight, but if you didn’t know about it you would never know because Cas turned out to be a really good cleaner. After the food fight they put the rest of the ingredients on it and put it in the oven. Cas didn’t have a pizza oven so it wasn’t a ‘real’ pizza but it still tastes fantastic. Dinner was served 20 minutes later and Dean called for Gabe, Sam, Anna and Samandriel who was locked away in his room the whole day. 

 

Part 77  
While they waited the set the table. “So what are you going to do about your wrist?” Dean asked, deciding then was the best time to bring it up. “What do you mean?” Cas responded. “I mean, you cut yourself pretty deep. That’s probably going to leave a scar. Your family will find out about it. I mean, are you going to tell them what happened?” Dean said. They stopped setting the table and Dean was now leaning against the table and Cas was standing before him. “I don’t know. For now I want to keep it a secret.” He said. “Your cut or me?” Dean asked. Cas sighed and looked at the door to see if anyone was coming before turning his eyes back to Dean’s “Can we keep Anna and Samandriel in the dark for a little longer please? I just… They’re just so… so accepting.” Cas said, not coming out of his words. Dean sighed but nodded. He knew what Cas meant even though Cas didn’t. “Okay, but you can’t lie forever, Cas. “ Dean said. Cas opened his mouth to say something back but was interrupted by Anna. “Can’t lie forever about what?” she said. Cas’s eyes widened and pushed away from Dean, stepping two feet away from him. Dean winced at Cas but didn’t say anything. Cas just looked at the ground, looking for an answer. “Nothing, dinner's ready.” He said and basically ran out of the room and into the kitchen. “Okay that was weird.” Anna said before sitting down at the table. “Yeah, tell me about it.” Dean said. He and Anna knew each other, not like friends, but the often sat at the same table at school. Sam and Gabe came moments later. Discussing which cany was less unhealthy. On which Gabe responded: “All candy is healthy, I mean they come from fruit!” and Sam said: “No Gabe, every candy is unhealthy. They all have too much sugar in it!” They kept on discussing and didn’t even say hi when they sat down. Samandriel came last, the quiet boy came into the room and said a small hi before sitting down at the table. Dean wasn’t sure Gabe and Sam even noticed him coming into the room. 

 

Part 78  
Cas came back with dinner a few minutes later and Sam and Gabe’s discussion had settled on: “You have healthy and unhealthy candy.” Dean didn’t know where they got that idea from but frankly, he didn’t care. Dinner went smoothly, they talked about school, Gabe’s not-so-planned future plans and tv-shows. After dinner was done Cas and Dean didn’t have to clean up since they cooked. They left the room and went straight to Cas’s room. They were full and tired. “Do you want to do anything?” Dean asked. Cas looked around before stepping closer to Dean. “Is it okay if we go to bed early? I’m still exhausted.” Cas asked. Dean stepped closer to Cas and they met each other halfway, meeting for a kiss. They didn’t deepen the kiss, because they were both too tired but it was nice. “Sure, I’m exhausted too.” He said. “Cas, I don’t have any pajamas with me. “ He said, it sounded more like a question even though it was a statement. Cas turned around and walked towards his dresser before turning around with a pair of sweatpants in his hands. “I sleep shirtless. Do you want a shirt?” He asked. Dean shook his head and took the sweatpants and muttered a small thank you before heading off to the bathroom. He changed into the sweatpants and walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. Cas was already changed and Dean’s breath was caught in his throat when he saw Cas shirtless. When they slept together he didn’t get to admire the view. Now, he didn’t know if he could. All he knew was that it was going to be a long night. He put his clothes on the dresser and walked towards the bed. He waited on Cas, because he didn’t know which side Cas slept on. Cas stepped into the bed on the right side so Dean went to the left. He crawled under the blankets and laid down. He laid on his back and so was Cas. Dean was wondering what they were since they kissed and he figured now was the best time to ask. “Cas?” He turned to face him and Cas did the same. Dean’s breath was caught in throat again when he noticed how close he and Cas were. Their noses were almost touching and he could feel Cas’s breath on his skin. “Yeah?”

 

Part 79  
Dean sighed, thinking about what to say. “What are we?” He said. Cas didn’t respond and Dean thought that maybe he had gone back to sleep. But when he heard Cas sight, he knew he was still awake. “I don’t know, I like you… a lot. But I don’t know if i’m ready for… a relationship. I do want to be with you though. “ Dean let the words sink in and thought about them. “Dean?” Cas asked when Dean didn’t respond. “You there?” He asked again. “Yeah, i’m here. I like you too. Let’s just take things slow, okay?” Dean asked. Cas sighed and even though it was dark in the room, Dean could see him smile. “Yeah, I would like that.” He said, He gave Dean a small peck on the lips before turning and snuggling against Dean. “Goodnight Dean” He said. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas and smiled against Cas’s back of his head. “Goodnight.” He said quietly. He wasn’t sure if Cas heard or not but he didn’t care. They fell asleep spooning each other. It was peaceful but of course Cas’s thoughts had to disturb that, he didn’t really have time to think about what had happened today. And he didn’t have anything else to do right now so his mind began to wonder. What were they? Are they together? Dean just asked him if they were together and he said that he wanted to take it slow. What does that mean? Do they kiss? Do they hold hands? Does this mean Cas is gay? Or bisexual? What will people think? Does he come out? Do they sneak around? Cas’s mind didn’t settle for a long time but as if Dean was reading his mind, he pulled him closer. They were already pretty close but now Cas didn’t think there was any space between them. Finally Cas fell asleep, not that that was much better. 

 

Part 80  
Cas had nightmares often but not like this. This dream- nightmare started happy, it started peaceful. He and Dean were sleeping, just sleeping. They were older, Cas didn’t see it, didn’t see the older Dean. But he felt it, he felt older. He was there, it felt like he was. It felt so real. He didn’t feel like he missed years, even though he didn’t have any memories. Cas was snuggled up against Dean and everything was perfect, he didn’t have to worry about other people, he had never cut himself, Him and Dean were just… Perfect. That was what perfect for Cas was, not a big house, not a lot of money. No. Perfect for Cas was just… Peace. And then it ended. He felt something move behind him and he turned to see what was happening. He couldn’t open his eyes, no matter how hard he tried. After what felt like a million years, he finally opened them. He saw Dean, he was getting out of bed and walking towards a closet. He only looked at one of the sides so Cas guessed it was their ‘home’ But it didn’t feel like home, something was off. Dean didn’t notice and Cas was watching him pack a bag. He looked at the clock to see how late it was and he saw that it was 3 A.M. He couldn’t quite funtion so he just looked at Dean. It felt like him body, his mind, his heart. But he didn’t have any control over it. When he saw Dean write a note he realised what Dean was doing. He suddenly stood up without knowing doing it. “Dean! What the hell are you doing?!” He yelled, suddenly very aware of what was happening. Dean was almost out of the door but Cas was just in time. Dean sighed and turned around. “I was hoping not to wake you.” He said, casually. Like this was the most normal thing ever. “What WERE you doing?!” Cas asked, demanding an answer. “I don’t want this!” Dean yelled, the words were like knives, cutting Cas’s heart. It hurt more than the cut.


	17. Chapter 17

Part 81  
“What do you mean?” Cas asked. He felt really weak all of the sudden. “I’m not Gay! And even if I was, do you really think I was going for something like you?! You’re just a piece of trash!” He said- yelled. What the hell was happening, this wasn’t supposed to happen, they were happy, it was peaceful. Cas felt weak in the knees. “We were happy” He said, tears streaming down his face. “No we weren’t. I thought I was. But i’m not. Nobody is happy Cas. You’re just a burden that some of us have to carry. I can’t live like this. “ And that was it. Cas fell to his knees and suddenly it stopped. Suddenly he wasn’t with Dean anymore. He was at home, back in the bathroom. The same razor on the counter. Screaming Castiel’s name, Dean’s words. They hurt, they hurt more that anything in the entire world. Castiel couldn’t resist. He couldn’t. “Why? Why? Why would you do that? Dean? What is happening?” Cas cried out. He grabbed the razor, and wiped his tears away. He set the razor to his arm when suddenly everything stopped and he was back in a dark room, back on a bed. Back with Dean. When his mind woke up and he could function again he heard someone call his name. He knew that voice, it was Dean. He was back to being a teenager again. Back to ‘normal’. “Cas? You okay? Cas? ” Dean whispered. He nudged Cas a few times before Cas could open his eyes. “Dean? What happened? Are you still here? Do you still like me?” Dean turned to switch on the lamp and when Cas could see his face again, all he could see was concern and a small smile. “Yeah, of course. Why else would I be here?” He mocked. Cas didn’t say anything so Dean continued. “You were crying and I figured you had a bad dream. Was I right?” It was only than that Castiel found out that his face and pillow were wet. “Yeah, I had a nightmare.” Dean laid down again and grabbed Cas’s head and laid it down on his chest. Dean was facing the ceiling and Cas’s arm was hugging him. Finding comfort in Dean’s heartbeat, it was a constant reminder that he was still there. “Tell me about it. “ Dean said, Cas could hear Dean’s real curiosity. He wasn’t just making small talk. He really cared. 

 

Part 82  
Cas didn’t reply immediately, he was listening to Dean’s heartbeat, half expecting to stop suddenly. It didn’t. He was deciding on whether to tell Dean or not. It was a miracle he was still here, after everything Cas did. He didn’t want to scare him away by something as stupid as a nightmare. Castiel sighed and began. “It doesn’t matter. It was nothing” Dean sighed and his hand found itself on Cas’s head, running his hand through it. It was so simple but at the same time very comforting. “It wasn’t nothing. You were crying and shaking. And muttering awful things. Please” Dean pleaded. “Please tell me. I want to help.” Cas sighed, again. He didn’t want to scare Dean away but he was making it very hard not to tell anything. “You don’t care.” He said, he didn’t know why he said that. It was clear that Dean did care. It was impossible for Dean not to care. Dean cared about a stranger, Dean cared about everyone. “I do care. Don’t you ever think otherwise. I think I made clear today that I do care. I’m not going anywhere. Just tell me. Please.” Cas could hear the disappointment in Dean’s voice. Like he couldn’t believe Cas would think he didn’t care. He knew Dean wasn’t going to drop it so he decided on telling him. “We were lying in bed. Not a worry in the world, just happy. But… You… You got up and started packing your things. I didn’t know what was happening.” Cas could hear his own voice breaking and there suddenly was something in his throat. Memories and feelings from the dream came rushing back and there was a tear escaping from his eye. “I stayed still in bed. You didn’t know I was awake. You wrote and a note and you were leaving the room before I suddenly stood up and asked were you going. You said you weren’t gay and that you didn’t want me.” He suddenly knew why it was familiar. “Oh my god.” Cas sat up and he was now facing Dean. He looked at Cas with confusion. “What?” 

 

Part 83  
Guilt came rushing to Cas. The dream… It was what Cas did to Dean. Sure they weren’t in love then. He didn’t know if they were now. But everything else. The name calling, the denial and maybe even the hurt. “I’m so sorry Dean.” It was the only thing he managed to say. Dean sat up too and put and arm around Cas, he pushed the arm away and he sat a few meters away. “I don’t deserve that.” He said. Dean still didn’t understand. “Okay, Cas slow down. What’s going on?” Cas sighed and looked at his lap. He was fiddling with his pajama pants. “It’s exactly what I did. Sure we weren’t living together, but I did treat you like that. I’m so sorry Dean. I don’t know why you’re here after I did that. I don’t get how I didn’t scare you away, after you say how much of a coward I was today.” dean sighed and chuckled a little. Cas looked at him with confusion. What the hell was so funny? “What?” He said. “Ohh I thought it was something serious.” He said bluntly. It only confused Cas more. “What?” He said again. “I’m here because I like you a lot. Sure you were an ass first but you made up. You already apologised. Come here.” Dean said. He grabbed Cas’s arm and traced his fingers across Cas’s scar. “This… this is is just a point of weakness. You’re not a coward. No come on and tell me about your dream.” He said before pulling Cas into a small kiss and lying down again. Cas’s head rested on Dean’s chest again and he continued talking about his dream. He told about how Dean said he was a piece of trash and before Dean could say something he had already continued about he was back in that bathroom, about how he wanted to cut himself again. He told about how much he wanted to run. Run away from Dean so he couldn’t hurt himself or Dean. He told about how weak he felt. Dean -of course- had comforted him in saying he wasn’t going anywhere and he said Cas was special. He told him about how he thought Cas was the strongest person he had ever met. Cas had disagreed with him but Dean just told him that he was never wrong. They didn’t know how late it was when they fell asleep, but they do know that when it came. It was peaceful, no nightmares, no ‘wrong’ dreams. Just sleep. Cas wished he could stay forever like this.

 

Part 84  
When monday came around nobody was in a good mood. Yesterday had been perfect. They hung out with Gabe and Sam and they laughed at how oblivious they were about each other’s feelings. All was perfect until they had to go to school again. Dean and castiel still hadn’t talked about what they were and who would know. Cas did say that he didn’t want people to find out yet, and Dean had agreed to that. He didn’t want to hide Cas but it just had to for now. Dean and Sam had gone home yesterday and were now riding to school. Cas had agreed to meet them there. Since Gabe didn’t have anything to do he would go to school at lunch. Dean knew that that was Sam’s favourite part of the day. Dean pulled up to the school’s parking lot and sat his ‘baby’ to a stop. He got out and was grinning from ear to ear when he saw Castiel waiting on him. He walked towards him and wanted to pull him into a hug before he saw Castiel taking a step back. Right. He couldn’t do that… not at school. “Hey Cas.” He said. “Hey Dean. Hey Sam” Sam waved him a hello before taking off to join his friends. Dean and Cas were left awkward. Cas turned around and Dean walked towards him. He tried to grab Cas’s hand but Cas pushed the hand away. “Not here Dean. “ Cas said. “Yeah, people might see.” Dean said sarcastically. Cas came to a halt and so did Dean. “You know i’m not ready Dean. Please, not yet.” Cas pleaded. Dean looked around and when he saw nobody he gave Cas a small pack on his lips before replying. “Yeah I know. I’m sorry. “ Cas smiled and turned around and Dean followed. They walked into the school together and to each other’s lockers before joining their friends. When the first bell rang, signaling that homeroom had started. Charlie, Dean and Cas made their way to their classroom. 

 

Part 85  
The day went on, everything went fine. Dean and Cas were together, at least when they were alone. When other people were around Cas and Dean were ‘just friends’. Dean didn’t like it but he had promised Cas that it would work like that. So he just had to try, Cas would have to come out eventually. It went on like that for 2 weeks. They were ‘friends’, at least that’s what people thought. Everyone knew Cas’s reputation so they had no doubt that he was straight. It sometimes upset Dean. But Cas made it always up to Dean with kisses and sometimes even make-out sessions when nobody was looking. Sam asked if he could go to Gabe, they became best friends, and Dean had said that they’ll both go. Castiel got into Dean’s ‘baby’ and Sam had decided that he’ll ride with Gabe, Anna and Samandriel. Dean and Castiel arrived 15 minutes later because they stopped to make-out. When they got out of the car, Gabe and Sam stood outside, waiting for them with a smirk. “So how many red lights did you guys have?” Gabe said sarcastically with a smirk. “Shut you pie hole!” Dean shot back. Sam and Cas just laughed. They all followed Gabriel into the house and split up. Dean and Cas went upstairs while Gabe and Sam went into the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink Sasquatch?” Gabe asked when they reached the kitchen. Sam laughed at the nickname like he always did. “Just water, thank you” He replied. Gabe frowned and commented. “You’re no fun, live a little.” Sam just shook his head in disagreement. Sam sat down on the counter while Gabe went to get a glass of water and probably a coke and candy for himself. Minutes later Gabe returned with a glass of water and a coke. He also had some candy and a sandwich. He gave Sam his water and the sandwich. “Thank you.” Sam said, Gabe just shrugs and sat down next to Sam on the counter. Sam looked at what on his sandwich was and smiled happily. It was a sandwich with cheese and some salad. “How did you-?” He tried to finish question but Gabriel cut him off. “I may not agree with your style of food but I know what you like, I also know that you’ll never ask for it so I got you it anyway.” He said while sipping at his coke.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I know I haven't updated in a while and honestly I forgot I also have the story on here so I finished it and published it on wattpad but not on here so i'm gonna do that now! Enjoy the last chapters! Love you all <3

Part 86  
To be honest Sam was kind of speechless, he didn’t know Gabe knew him so well. But he decided he shouldn’t say anything about it because Gabe didn’t like serious stuff. Sam figured it had a special reason but he didn’t push him to tell something. “Hey, you want to play some games?” Gabe asked, breaking the silence they were in. Sam nodded and they both set their plates on the counter and walked out of the kitchen and into Gabe’s room. They both sat on the bed and they took turns playing GTA5. Sam didn’t have the game at home so he wasn’t very good at him but Gabe helped him. Or at least tried. Every time Gabe would say something to help Sam, Sam said he could handle it and that he was smart enough. After going like that for an hour Gabe had enough. “I know you’re smart enough, dumbass.” He said, Sam looked up in surprise and laid the controller on his lap. “What?” He asked. Gabe sighed and went to sit in a better position so he wa facing Sam. Sam did the same and they were now facing each other. “I said that I know you’re smart enough. You’re one of the smartest people I know.” Sam looked shocked at Gabe’s sudden seriousness, but didn’t question it. “Really?” That was everything he could get out of himself. “Yeah, you’re the whole package, I mean you’re smart, funny, caring and hella hot.” Gabe seemed shocked at his own words. “I mean if you’re into-” His attempt of taking it back was cut short by Sam. He had a hopeful look. “You think i’m hot?” He asked. “Yeah… I mean… you know… You’re good looking. I… Uhh… “ He said, not trying to deny his blush. He was so red right now you probably wouldn’t see the difference between him and tomato. “I think you’re hot too.” Sam said. Gabe looked up from his lap for the first time in this conversation. 

Part 87  
Gabe had a hopeful look in his eyes and it was now Sam’s turn to turn into a tomato. “I think you’re the whole package too btw.” Sam said. Gabe was confused. “Why? i’m not smart or nice.” He said with a frown. Sam frowned too. He couldn’t believe Gabe saw himself like that. “Don’t say that.” He said. “What?” Sam frowned again. “You don’t see it, you are smart! You are super smart. You just say dumb things at bad times and you do dumb things. You are also one of the nicest people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. People think you don’t take life itself serious and I think the opposite. I think you take it too serious, so serious that you don’t let people get close to you, you also try to laugh everything of. Like joking is the answer of never being hurt. You make people dislike you by playing pranks on them, but I know that whoever can get through to you likes you. All the people that know the real you, like you. I promise. And I just hope that you can take your wall down in front of one person and maybe give that person of making you happy.” He said. Gabe just looked at him wide eyed and mouth open, tears threatening to spill. He licked his lips before opening his mouth to speak. “You already did.” He said. Sam looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean?” He asked. “I know this maybe ruin our friendship but I need to say this… You already broke my walls. You already make me happy. I can’t say that i’m in love with you because it’s too early for that and that may take a while, but i’m getting there.” He finished. Sam looked at him with wide eyes. “Sam? Please say something. Don’t leave a guy hanging here.” Gabe tried to chuckle but it came out painful. “You’re falling in love with me?” Is all Sam could say. Gabe just nodded, not trusting his voice. Sam didn’t answer and Gabe looked up at Sam and locked his gaze in Sam’s. Sam still didn’t speak, he just looked at Gabe. Looking at him like he may disappear if he looks away. Before Gabe could process what Sam was doing, Sam was already in front of him and pressing his lips on Gabe’s. It was better than either of them could imagine or did imagine. It wasn’t like there were fireworks but there was pure passion. Just 2 souls and bodies forming into one. Before parting way too soon. They pressed their foreheads together and were panting slightly, before Sam smiled and spoke. “I’m falling in love with you too”

Part 88  
Gabe laid down and Sam let his head rest on his chest. Their game was long forgotten. They just laid there, enjoying the silence. “So what does this mean?” Sam asked. Gabe ran a hand through Sam’s hair and sighed. “Well, I kind of hoped that this meant we were dating.” He said. Sam couldn’t see his face but he knew Gabe was smirking. “No, I mean yes. I mean what are we going to do now? Are we going to tell people?” Sam asked. Gabe didn’t reply and Sam wondered if maybe he went sleep. But after a while Gabe answered. “Look, I don’t know if you’re out of the closet but I am. I want to be with you. And that means always, not just when we’re alone. I don’t want to be miserable like Cas. I know Cas is afraid of people’s reactions whether or not he’ll be accepted, but I also know that it’s eating at him. I know he’ll come out eventually but I don’t want to wait anymore. I’m not afraid, sure I know some people won’t accept us but guess what? I don’t care and as long as they see that you don’t care, they won’t care. Everyone knows i’m gay, everyone knows Dean’s gay, we don’t get bullied. I just hope you don’t care too.” When Gabe finished, Sam found that he couldn’t say anything. So he just moved his head to Gabe’s and pressed their lips together. It was only for a second and after that he went back to lay down on Gabe’s chest. “I don’t care, I want to be with you. So how do come out?” Sam asked, Gabe chuckled slightly. Sam loved the sound of that. “I didn’t make a ‘coming out speech’ I didn’t and I still don’t see the big deal of being gay. I just told everyone my now ex-boyfriend was coming over for dinner. And that was it.” Sam smiled, he didn’t want to make a big deal out of it so he decided to do the same, Dean already knew and he was the only one that mattered, at least really mattered. “I want to do it like that.” He said before falling asleep. 

Part 89   
Everyone woke up the next day to go to school. Dean cursed under his breath, he still needed to go home to pick up his books. Cas, Sam and Dean all got in the Impala and Dean rode them to his house and told them to wait and got his and Sam’s stuff. He was still in yesterday’s clothes but he didn’t have enough time to change. When Dean returned he rode them to the school and got out. Cas still wasn’t open about their relationship and even though he was slowly but surely falling in love with him, he couldn’t stand not holding his hand in public or kissing him goodbye or even telling someone. He kept asking Cas when they would go public but every time Cas said the same thing; soon. Soon was a week ago. But Dean got used to it, he now knew what he could and couldn’t do. As always they got to homeroom and sat next to each other, Charlie sat in front of Dean and as always talked to them. What hurt Dean the most was that not even Charlie could know. Charlie knew Dean liked Cas and she always urged him to say something about his feelings, and even now she still said Dean should come clean. It broke his heart, he always told his best friend everything, he even told her when he slept with Cas, and now that they’re together, he couldn’t say anything. Dean just kept in mind that soon, very soon they’ll everyone. He just hoped that it’s true. School went by very slow but luckily lunch came. Dean was happy he had a break again. Gabe was already waiting for them at their usual table. Sam went to him and gave him a kiss. What?! Dean thought. Since when are they together. “Wait! What? Why didn’t you tell me??” Dean half asked and half yelled. “We didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. We’re together, that’s it. Sure it’s awesome, but I wouldn’t have made a big statement if I had a girlfriend, so why would I when it’s a boyfriend?” Dean just smiled and gave him hug. “I’m really happy for you Sammy.” Dean was happy for you but he couldn’t help but wish that Cas thought the same way. He looked in Cas’s direction and saw that Cas thought the same. He walked towards him and held out his hand “Hey come on. Want to get out of here?” He asked, Cas nodded and took his hand, only to let go moments after taking it. Dean winced at the loss but quickly pulled his normal face up, he was used to this but that didn’t mean it hurts less. 

Part 90  
They didn’t say anything on the way over to the hall, there was one hall in the school where no kids were allowed but they never checked, no one ever came there. Dean and Cas didn’t know why but they were happy that they had place without people. When they arrived Dean leaned against the wall. Cas stood before him. He sighed and spoke. “So… Sam and Gabe.” Dean looked in Cas’s eyes and smiled. “Yeah, i’m happy for Sammy, he seems really happy.” Cas smiled back. “Yeah, Gabe too.” Dean sighed and looked at his shoes before looking in Cas’s eyes again. “Are you more com-” Dean was cut off my Cas’s lips crashing on his own. He quickly kissed back. His hands found their way around Cas’s waist and Cas’s hands were thrown around Dean’s neck. They just stood there, making out. Until the door suddenly closed. They didn’t close the door but apparently the wind outside was strong enough to close it. Cas threw himself of Dean and took a big step backwards. There was about 2 feet between them now. Dean couldn’t help the pang of hurt and embarrassment and anger, that he felt through him when he realised what Cas did. Cas was so afraid and embarrassed of himself and Dean. Dean felt as if he was in the closet again and that was something he swore to himself he wouldn’t feel again. Dean realised Cas wasn’t any closer to coming out as he was 2 weeks ago, and after what happened just then, Dean wasn’t so sure he could do it again. “Dean.” Cas breathed, Dean figured Cas saw the look on Dean’s face and knew what he had done wrong. Without saying something, he pushed himself of the wall and began walking out of the hall. He was stopped by Cas’s hand on his arm. “Dean please!” Cas begged. He knew that when Dean walked out, they would be done. “I’m sorry Dean, you know i’m not ready. Please just stay.” He begged again. Dean turned around but he wasn’t showing the loving and caring look he always had. This Dean was done. “I’m sorry Castiel.” Cas winced at the use of his full name. “You know I care about you, I know i’m falling in love with you. And I know you do the same. But I can’t do this anymore. I can’t force you out of the closet, but you can’t force me in it. I have been in the closet and i’m done with that. I still care about you and I hope, that maybe one day, hopefully very soon, we can be friends. And I hope that one day, you accept yourself totally and that you feel comfortable enough with yourself to let the rest of world see it. And I hope that one day, you find someone who makes you happy like I did in the last 2 weeks. But I can’t do it anymore. I want to be like Sammy and Gabe, and I know you can’t be like that, and I don’t blame you but please accept yourself. I’m sorry but this, whatever this was. It’s over.” And with that he walked out of the hall with tears threatening to spill. Cas watched him as closed the door with a little more force than needed, when Dean was out of sight, he was done fighting the tears. Tears were rolling down his cheek.


	19. Chapter 19

Part 91  
Dean ran out of the hall, he didn’t know where he ran to, but he needed to get out of there. The look in Cas’s eyes was too much. He didn’t come there to break up but after Cas’s outburst, he needed to do it. It wasn’t making him happy. He was beginning to love Castiel, and he maybe already did, but he couldn’t live in the closet again. He was out and he needed to be kept out. He really did wish Cas the best though, Cas deserved happiness and he was sad that he couldn’t provide that for him. He knew Cas cared about him, he knew Cas loved him too. But it wasn’t doing Cas any good. It was best for them both. Dean knew it. Dean ran out of the school and was now standing outside in the cold. He leaned against the wall and eventually sat down. Bringing his knees to his chest and sobbing quietly. He didn’t know how long he sat there but at some time the bell rang, Dean heard it but he didn’t care. Students walked past him and stared at him but didn’t say anything. Luckily for Dean, no one he knew walked past. He just sat there for hours, not caring that he had stopped crying. After 2 hours he stood up and walked to his car, he got in and dried his cheeks with his sleeve. He texted Sam to find a car ride home, he knew it was a dick move to leave his brother but he didn’t find it in himself to care. He drove and drove until he realised he drove out of town. He turned around and drove back again. On his way to his house he drove by the place he and Sam found when they were younger, Sam doesn’t come here anymore but Dean often comes and lies on the ground for several hours, watching the stars and the moon. He loves to come by when there isn’t a moon because you can see more stars that way. Once he saw the place he turned the car towards it and killed the engine on the side of the road. He walked out of the car with his leather jacket now on and laid down on the grass. He didn’t know how long he was awake for, but he did fell asleep, he could already see the stars in the moonless sky. 

Part 92   
Cas woke up in his bed the next morning, or midnight. He didn’t know, all he knew is that he cried himself to sleep and when he did get some sleep, it weren’t peaceful dreams that kept his mind occupied. It was still dark outside so he figured that he didn’t get a lot of hours sleep. He opened his eyes and turned to the clock on his nightstand and read the time. It was 4 a.m. He did the math and found out that he had about 30 minutes of sleep tonight, and he knew that he couldn’t sleep anymore. He knew he was screwed up, he knew that he didn’t deserve Dean. Dean was confident and he was happy with himself, while Cas was the opposite, sure he had some confidence, but not like he could be himself and not care what anyone things. He did care, he cared too much. He also wasn’t happy with himself. Just when he started to accept himself he did something and everything he had feared came true. He was so screwed up he even pushed Dean away. Dean the guy that you couldn’t even scare away when you were as screwed up as Cas. Dean the guy that even though saw what Cas had done to himself in a moment of weakness, still kept by his side. Dean the guy that even though he was breaking up with you, still sounded as the kindest person alive. Dean the guy Castiel had fallen in love with. Dean was patient around Cas, he didn’t push him into things he didn’t want to do. He loved Dean. He knew that now, but now is too late. Cas still doesn’t know if he is ready to come out. But he will think about it fast because he needed Dean. He was going to do everything he can to get him back. But he still needed to figure himself out. It wouldn’t be fair towards Dean if Cas said he was ready when he really wasn’t. He couldn’t and wouldn’t let Dean live through that. Dean deserved a guy who he can hold hands with in public, and kiss goodbye when you’re going to class, who he can make-out with in the hallways that people will tell them to get a room. Dean deserved all that, and one day hopefully very soon, Cas would be able to do that. He was going to get ready, and he was going to get Dean back. 

Part 93  
Dean woke up with his back crooked and in uncomfortable positions. He sat up and saw that he had fallen asleep while watching the stars. The sun was just rising so maybe Dean was still in time for school. He still wore yesterday’s clothes and he didn’t have any of books he needed today, but he wasn’t ready to deal with Sammy. He stood up and walked towards him car, who was still parked next to the road. He was surprised to find that there was no ticket for parking on his windshield, because he was pretty sure it wasn’t allowed to park here. He got in the car and grabbed his phone. It was 6 a.m. He had 11 missed calls and 58 missed texts. All were the same: ‘Dean where are you?!’ ‘Why aren’t you at school?’ ‘Dean?!’ ‘I can’t believe you made me walk home!’ ‘Dean why didn’t you call’ ‘Dean! Answer!’ ‘Dean! I’m worried!’ Dean texted all the people a quick sorry and turned on the engine. He drove towards school and when he came there he saw someone already sitting on the school steps. He parked the car and got out, when he reached the person he saw who it was and his heart sank. This is just what he needed. “Uhm… Hey” Cas said. “Hey, what are you doing here so early?” Dean asked, it was only 7.10 so it was weird that Cas was here already. Cas looked awful. Dean still thought he was hot, but he didn’t look okay. He had bags under his eyes, he still looked half asleep and his eyes were all red. “I… Uhm… I couldn’t sleep and I couldn’t be at home anymore so I got up and walked, after an hour of walking I turned towards the school and now i’m here.” Cas answered awkwardly. “What are you doing here so early? Where’s Sam?” He added. The ground suddenly became very interesting to Dean. “I… I didn’t go home last night and this morning I woke up very early and I couldn’t stay there so I got up and went to school because I didn’t want to deal with my dad.” Dean admitted. Cas’s face quickly fell and the shy smile was replaced by a pout and his eyes became glassy. He cleared his voice and looked at the ground again. “Ohh… I see. I’m happy for you Dean.” He said and walked away. Dean didn’t understand what the hell was going on, what was Cas happy for? 

Part 94  
Cas couldn’t breath, he thought, hoped even, that maybe, just maybe, Dean cared for him. Like really cared for him. He thought that maybe, just maybe, Dean would be a little broken hearted about their ‘break up’. But he was wrong. As soon as they stopped seeing each other Dean slept with someone else. He knew Dean’s reputation, that he liked sleeping around, but he thought he had changed. That he cared about Cas. And there he thought he would maybe come out for him. He was planning on it, coming out to get Dean back. But after knowing what he did, he couldn’t. He couldn’t ruin his reputation and not even getting Dean back. He walked to the other side of the school and sat on one of the benches in front of the back door. He hoped that one of the school teachers came early so he could wait inside. He sat there for 2 minutes when someone came from the way he came just 2 minutes ago. He didn’t have guess who it was. “Hey Dean. “ He said. “Uh… Hey Cas.” Dean said. He just stood there, looking unsure of what to say. “What are you doing here?” Cas asked. “Can I ask you something?” Dean said, completely ignoring Cas’s question. Cas knew it was probably a bad idea to say yes so he just played it cool. “You just did” He said, smirking even though he knew it didn’t reach his eyes. Dean scoffed and sat down next to Cas, who moved a little away from him. “Still afraid to be seen with me?” Dean said, smiling sad. He was almost mad Cas thought. “No” Cas answered. “Then why are you moving away from me?” Dean said. Cas stood up and walked away, stopping when he was almost out of earshot. “You shouldn’t have followed me, Dean.” He said. Dean stood up too and moved towards him, he stopped when Cas made move, making him stop. “Why not? Nobody is here? I know I broke up but why are you moving away from me like you’re scared of me-” Dean was cut of by Cas. “Because I am scared” He yelled, neighbors be damned. 

Part 95  
Now dean was totally confused. “What do you mean?” He asked. “I’m not scared of you in that way. The total opposite actually. You make me feel safe, like what we do is right. Like no one in the rest of the world matters. I want to be with you 24/7, always. But I can’t. I’m scared of the feelings, like you’re gonna leave me. I doubt myself every single minute of every single day. And it’s exhausting, but with you, it’s like it doesn’t matter. But I can’t help but doubt when you’re not there, i’m doubting if you actually like me, or if it’s an act. Like I may do something to push you away, like I always do. And i’m scared of the rest of the world. Because truth is, the world is screwed up and sometimes I have trouble finding the good things in this screwed up world. Because humans are screwed up, they are. I keep having faith, but every damn time, they let me down. People murder people because they don’t think what they feel is human, like they do the world a favor, those people are monsters. And if you are not like everyone else, you are a target for those monsters. I just want to be like everyone else.” Cas ranted, he didn’t know where all the words came from. “But you’re not Dean, and you shouldn’t be ashamed of that, it’s good to be different. I’m different, we can be different together.” Dean said. Cas looked at him like he was crazy and let out a pained chuckle. “You don’t care about me. It’s not even 24 hours since we broke up and you already slept with someone else.” Cas said, he turned around to walk away again but Dean’s voice stopped him. ΅Wait! What?! What are you talking about?” He asked. Cas turned around again with a pained smile. “Ohh I read between the lines. Really Dean? I know you never really cared about me, but telling me that you slept with someone else when it’s obvious I didn’t sleep because I was crying like some pathetic little kid. ‘I didn’t go home last night’ and ‘I couldn’t stay there this morning’ sweet of you to try and cover it up but i’m not stupid.”


	20. Chapter 20

Part 96  
Dean was even more confused. “I wasn’t sleeping with anyone! I slept outside on the ground because I didn’t want anyone to see me cry! And I do care about you, I love you! Don’t you ever say otherwise!” Cas stood wide eyed. “You what?” Was all Cas could bring out. “Yeah! I love you! And I thought I could stay away from you but I can’t even though you look horrible, you look so hot. And I missed you so much even though it was only 1 day. I’ll be patient, I will. Just please promise me one thing.” Dean said, hoping that Cas would take him back. “Anything” He said. “Promise me whenever you do come out, you do it for you. Not because you think I would leave you if you did. Because I won’t. But also promise me that you do come out, because I can wait, I can be patient, I can help but I can’t and won’t wait forever. Okay?” Dean asked. Cas nodded before answering. “Yeah, and I Love you too. Goddamn I love you so much. You have been the most questionable thing in my life and you made me doubt everything but with you everything seems so right with you. So I don’t care anymore. I’m done, what are people gonna do? Sent me to a camp? Make me break up with you? That’s not going to happen. I love you and I’m done trying to pretend-” Cas was cut of by Dean’s mouth on his. This was the first time they kissed in public and suddenly Cas didn’t care if anyone saw. Sure he won’t make an announcement, but he won’t care, he won’t hide. Dean was is and he was Dean’s. And if anyone had a problem with that, they could fuck off. They broke apart and let their foreheads rest against each other. “What do you mean you don’t care?” Dean asked slightly out of breath. “It means, I won’t care what anyone thinks. Sure i’ll care but I won’t hide myself anymore. Let’s just be us. Just holding hands and kissing goodbye just normal couple things.” Cas responded. “Couple things? Does this mean you want to be my boyfriend?” Dean asked. “Only if you want to be mine.” Cas said. Dean kissed him again and they parted. Dean held out his hand and Cas took it. “Good because I do.” Dean said. Cas smiled brightly. He didn’t know exactly how exhausted he was. But it felt like he just woke up after 30 years of sleeping. It also felt like he could finally sleep again, like a normal teenager. 

Part 97  
They stayed outside, as the school began to fill, they stayed outside. It was freezing but they didn’t care. They sat on the bench in front of the school’s football field. Cas letting his head rest against Dean’s shoulder and Dean letting it rest on Cas’s head. They didn’t say anything, they just sat in silence, playing with each other’s hands. It was peaceful. At least it was, until Sam began to walk towards them and disturb their peace. “Dean where the hell were you? Why didn’t you text me?” Sam said. Dean and Cas shot up like they were in a trance but weren’t sure for how long. Cas checked his watch only to find that 20 minutes went by. Cas gave Dean a reassuring look and Dean answered. “I’m sorry Sammy. Me and Cas had a fight but we’re friends again so it’s okay, I just had to get my mind off of it. I won’t do it again, I promise.” Dean wasn’t sure if he could call Cas his boyfriend, sure they were now, but they never actually used the term, but luckily Cas spoke himself. “We are together again.” Cas said. He tried to tell it as confident as possible but you could hear the nervous tone in his voice. Sam’s face lit up with a wide smile. “Really? I mean I never knew you guys were apart but you two were so sad yesterday that I figured something had happened. I’m glad everything is okay again. Are you going to tell people this time?” Sam asked. And at that time Charlie and the rest of their friends had chosen to walk up to them. “Tell people what?” Charlie asked. Dean eyed cas nervously, not knowing what to say. Dean wasn’t going to push him, and luckily he didn’t have to. “I… I’m together with… Uhm… Dean. Me and Dean… we’re a couple.” Cas said. He knew this people wouldn’t dislike him for being gay or bi, but still it was hard to say it. But it was getting easier every time. Benny and Balthazar both laughed out loud and Charlie squealed. The rest just smiled proud. “I knew it! I mean I didn’t, but I suspected it!” Charlie almost screamed. Cas laughed and looked at Dean. Dean was watching it all happen. He took Cas’s hand and gave it a small squeeze. Dean was proud of Cas, and honestly so was Cas.

Part 98  
The hard part over, at least so Cas thought. He told Dean his feelings and told the people closest to them. He didn’t know how he was going to come out to the rest to world but he knew he needed to do it fast. He didn’t know how much longer he could live in this lie. Cas and Dean walked the school in together, hands brushing as they walked. They never grabbed the other’s hand because Cas wasn’t fully ready to escape the lie. They stopped at Cas’s locker. “I’m proud of you Cas, really.” Dean said, “Thank you, but i’m prouder of you. You stood by me through my crazy times and helped me. Thank you for that.” Cas said. Dean didn’t know what to say so I changed the subject. “You know, there is this dance at the school this friday and I was wondering… If you know how I could ask someone to this dance. I mean there is this amazing guy, tall, handsome, smart and funny. And we’re kind of dating, but I don’t know if he wants to go to the dance with me. Do you know a way I can ask him?” Dean asked with a smirk. Cas laughed and turned to face him. “I don’t know. Just ask him casually, guys like that. And just wait until he answers.” Cas answered. Dean laughed and resisted the urge to kiss the smirk of of Cas’s face. “I don’t know, doesn’t most people want a big show? “ Dean said “I mean, I would want to.” He joked. Cas laughed and closed his locker. “I don’t know, I guess you’ll find out. Good luck!” He said and walked of to his first class. Dean watching him go and smiled to himself. He wanted to give Cas a big show but he didn’t want to out Cas in front of the whole school. So he just decided to play it casual. 

Part 99   
Cas walked to his first class but stopped in front of the class. He had thought of ways to thank Dean for sticking with him but he couldn’t find a way, but now he had found it. He was going to ask Dean to the dance with a big show. He knew Dean was kidding when he said that but he also knew that Dean secretly wanted that. And that way, the whole school knew. He walked back into the cafeteria and called Gabe. Gabe picked up his phone and the third rang, probably just waking up. “Hey little bro, what do you need?” Gabe said. “Hey Gabriel. I need your help with asking Dean to the dance.” Cas said. “Aren’t you still in the closet at school?” Gabe asked. “Yeah, but I want out. And I want to ask Dean to the dance.” “Okay, i’ll be there in 20. Btw are you skipping class?” Gabe asked. “Yeah?” Cas said. “Good boy” Gabe said and with that he hung up. Cas waited while everyone slowly made their way to their classes. He never skipped classes so he wouldn’t be in serious problems. 20 minutes later Gabe arrived. “Okay what do you need me to do?” Gabe asked. “Hello to you too. And I don’t know. I just want to ask Dean to the dance in a big way. Any ideas?” Cas asked. When he saw the look on Gabe’s face he quickly added: “Legal ideas?” Gabe’s face fell but there was still a tind of happiness. Gabe nodded and told Cas the plan. He told Cas the plan and together they went to the store and bought the stuff they needed. They painted the things that needed to be painted and sewed the things that needed to be sewed together. At least they tried, but seeing as both of them couldn’t sew they just used the stapler. When they were done in was almost lunch which meant it was time. They hung up the last things and waited while the cafeteria filled again. It wasn’t fully shown so nobody saw anything. Dean walked in with all of their friends. He was probably wondering where the hell Cas was seeing Cas ignored all the calls he got, but Cas really couldn’t talk to Dean right now. Not without spilling all his beans. He was a good liar when it came to very serious things, but he was a terrible liar when it came to exciting things. When Dean and their friends sat down, he gave Gabe the signal. No turning back now, he thought. 

Part 100  
Dean wondered where Cas was. He hadn’t seen Cas all day, he was walking to the table with his friends when someone spoke through the speakers. “May I please have your attention.” Dean recognized the voice… It was Gabe. He knew Gabe well enough now that this couldn’t be anything good. Dean’s thoughts were interrupted when Gabe continued. “I have someone real special with me today who wants to ask something to someone real special to him. Cas? Can you come up here?” Dean’s eyes widened, what the hell was Cas doing? Dean was worried sick about him and here he was, skipping school to play a prank with his brother, this wasn’t like Cas. Sure Dean was happy Cas was finally acting out a little, he was getting worried Cas was always that uptight. When Cas took the microphone, hearing some muffled noises from the speakers, he took a big inhale before starting. “So… Uhm… Alright here goes. So as many of you guys know the dance is coming up and I wanted to ask someone.” Then Dean’s eyes widened even more, while all the girls went quiet, not so secretly hoping to be one to be asked. “The person who I want to ask is awesome and really helped me. No one really knows that we have been dating but I thought it was time to tell it.” And there it was Dean’s little hope, just a little that maybe Cas was talking about him. “Dean Winchester… Will you go to the dance with me?” Dean’s eyes widened once again while everyone was looking at him with wide eyes. He didn’t know how to act, he wasn’t used to that many eyes on him. He wanted to scream yes, or at least tell Cas yes. But to do that he needed to go to Cas, he knew Cas was in the janitor closed, that is where they kept the microphone, he nearly ran to it, people following behind him. But he didn’t care, it was only him and Cas now. 

Part 101  
Cas was coming out of the closed - Pun intended- when Dean walked towards him. Dean didn’t kiss Cas right away, letting Cas set the boundaries. He did however run into his arms and whispered “Yes, yes, yes. Of course” He felt Cas smiling against his shoulder. He didn’t know why but he felt so safe and free. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt that free. People were watching but he didn’t care, he was there with Dean and he was out. But then he noticed people weren’t looking at him like he disgusted them, they were smiling like they were happy for them. And he noticed that he wasn’t scared anymore, he was proud of himself. They broke apart and looked around and as of they spoke a different language they silently agreed to say nothing and just leave. They didn’t care that it was the middle of the day. They didn’t care about the trouble they’ll be in if they caught, and they’re sure they’re gonna get caught because the whole school saw them leave. They didn’t care about any of that. They just needed to get out, get some fresh air and get some rest. So Dean took Cas’s hand and Cas took it proudly and left the school, letting the people watch after them. They took a left to the cafe when they came outside, still hand-in-hand. Cas expected all the people to watch him if he walked openly with Dean, but they didn’t. Nobody cared, life still went on. And suddenly a wave of guilt washed over him. He was so scared that everybody cared and everybody would hate him that he hadn’t realised that nobody cared but himself. He stopped and Dean noticed, his smile changing into a worried look. “Hey,” He spoke and he lifted his hand to grab Cas’s chin so he could look into Cas’s eyes. “You okay?” He asked. Cas met his eyes and grabbed Dean hands. “Yeah, i’m perfect. I’m just so sorry. I was so caught up in what people might do when they found out that I hadn’t realised that it was only me who cared.” Cas told and Dean just smiled before meeting his lips halfway for a kiss. 

Part 102  
When they broke apart Dean was a little afraid Cas would push him away but he didn’t, he just smiled. “Don’t be sorry, I get it. I was the same way. But i’m still here okay? I’ll always be here.” Cas felt like nothing could break him, he felt invincible. He could do this, he could be with Dean. Dean broke Cas out of his thought by grabbing his hand again and lacing their fingers together. They walked around for a while before stopping at a cafe and getting something to drink. After that they walked to the park and just cuddled on the bench. Dean was sitting while Cas’s head was resting on his lap and lying on the bench. “Why did you ask me to the dance?” Dean asked. They had been silent until then, it made Cas look up before lying down. “I don’t know I guess I was just really tired of pretending and living life fake, I couldn’t sleep anymore, I always missed you. And I know I could have you, I was just always scared of what I had to sacrifice, after a while I found out it was worth it. I want to live real. Be real. And I prefer to do that with you. And I know that you’ll look good in a tux.” He said, Dean smirked and let out a chuckle. “So you only asked me because i’ll look good in a tux?” Dean asked. “Basically” He said innocently. They both laughed a little and it went quiet again. “Why did you say yes?” Cas asked. “You know why.” Dean responded. But Cas shook his head. “No I don’t. I mean I treated you bad, I didn’t come out until now and you saw how messed up I was. And still you said yes. “ Cas said, keeping his eyes closed, not trusting himself to look in Dean’s eyes. Dean moved around and moved so Cas was sitting too and took Cas’s head in his hands. Cas just looked in his eyes. “Okay, you’ve got to stop this okay? You made a mistake and i’ve forgiven you. I said yes because I love you and I promised you I would be patient and I was and now i’ve got you. The whole you, everyone is messed up. I don’t care about that. “ Cas was amazed at the look in Dean’s eyes, he meant it, he meant all of it. “I love you too. “ He said before kissing Dean. And they laid there for the rest of the day until the both got hungry and went home.

Part 103  
Dean waited outside of Cas’s door, the dance was tonight and Dean was picking Cas up. They had decided against Dean waiting inside because they would never get out of it. Turns out coming out wasn’t such a big deal, sure for Cas it was, but nobody really thought different of him. They all supported him and he was glad, he wouldn’t know what to do if that was the case. Dean said that if that was the case, Cas would be strong enough but Cas didn’t think so. He was just glad that that wasn’t the case. Dean was glad too, he was also extremely proud, Cas handled coming out as a champ. And now they could hold hands in public and be open about themselves. Dean was daydreaming when Cas came out of the house, wearing a tux and everything. He was wearing a simple black suit with a grey tie, Dean was wearing the same thing except he was wearing a grey suit with a black tie. Cas got in the car and kissed him quick, just like he always did these days. It was nice and normal, and Dean absolutely loved it. “Hey, ready?” Cas said, Dean smiled and drove of the driveway. “Ready as i’ll ever be” He answered. At school they met up with their friends and they danced all night. Cas’s slight fear never came to reality, there were no bullies, no judgemental people and best of all no people suffering because of him. All in all it was a fantastic night. Sam came later on with Gabriel. Sam came more out of his shell when he was with Gabe, Dean was glad Sam deserved it, even if he had to go to the principal office more times since he started seeing gabe than all his years in this high school before he met Gabe. All in all they were all pretty great.


	21. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you all so much for reading this! I love you all <3

Part 104 (Last part)   
Years after years they would tell the same thing to their child. Dad fell in love with dad before either of them realised. Dean would always claim he was special, that Cas never loved someone the way Cas loved him. Cas would always say Dean’s ego was to big but he knew it was true, Maryanne knew so too. After Cas decided to be a teacher and Dean a mechanic they moved out of the house and studied at the college of Lawrence. After a few years they moved into a house and they adopted a daughter. The name was a combination between Dean’s mom and Cas’s sister since he didn’t want to rename his child after the so called ‘mother’ who left him. Dean’s dad had an accident about two years after he started college and at first it was hard but he had Cas and they worked it out. It wasn’t perfect and it would never be but they were happy and healthy. Sometimes people would look twice when they walked hand-in-hand but Cas was too in love to care. They were free.   
Sam and Gabe moved away to New-York after the accident and Sam became a lawyer while Gabe became a candy shop owner. They decided against kids since they liked it too much to be together. They did adopt a dog though and they loved him almost as much as Dean and Cas loved Maryanne. They came together with both their whole families and friends every christmas and birthdays. They all missed each other but they all let separate lives.

END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked it. I know the end isn't really good but I wanted to finish it before I couldn't. Anyway again thank you all! <3


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